IVF is emotionally, financially and physically draining, and when you're going through it, you need constant support and reassurance - ideally from your partner if it's a process you're undergoing together. That's why one woman was left mortified when her husband gave $7,000 (£6,255) of their IVF fund to his best friend who are 'inseparable'.
The woman took to Reddit to explain who had paid for what during the IVF process, and she had paid a significantly higher amount than her husband so was left furious when he lent his friend the money for a new car. This left them with just $4,000 (£3,576) for their next cycle.
She wrote: "To start off I want to say that my husband (36M) has an old friend (33M) that he's known since high school. they're inseparable and spend the entire week together. like they're really really close.
"My husband and I struggled with fertility issues for years. we recently started new method (IVF) in hopes to get at least one child together. Note that I saved for the majority of treatment while my husband only paid two or three thousand.
"We saved up for another round after the huge disappointment and heartbreak from failing the first time (that's just how it goes). This time I'd put all the money (including dad's inheritance) and my husband didn't pay a cent.
"Last week I found out that he secretly pulled out 7k (we had 11k in total). I was completely and utterly shocked I confronted him and he casually reminded me of how many times his best friend complained about his "old junk" car and he decided to "lend" him 7k to buy a decent car, his argument was that his friend would've done the same for him."
The woman wasn't happy with the argument he gave, and was furious at what he'd done.
She continued: "I was beyond livid I asked if he really thought that was okay and he said that I shouldn't worry and guaranteed his friend will pay us back in time. I lost it on him and immediately demanded his friend to send the money back and threatened police involvement in case he refused.
"His friend immediately returned the money but told my husband about the police thing and my husband came home and yelled at me calling me unhinged and selfish. I told him I saved up some of this money/used my inheritance for this treatment while he contributed nothing even though we're in this together.
"He 'corrected' me saying I'm the one with the problem and he thought it's only fair that I 'make up' for it by paying for the IVF myself. This hurt so badly and I couldn't argue anymore.
"He went to stay with his friend while constantly shaming me for how I treated them both and for the police involvement like they stole from me or something."
People were furious on the woman's behalf, and defended her, confirming the fact that he was indeed in the wrong.
One wrote: "That was money you saved/inherited. That means you ARE the one paying for it and he DID steal from you."
Another agreed, writing: "This was your money, your inheritance. Your husband absolutely stole it from you. Clearly you want children, but if you have children with this person, your life is only going to get worse.
"You owe it to yourself to find someone who is as interested in having kids as you are. You owe it to yourself to find someone who respects and loves you. Your current husband clearly does not."
Someone else said the woman was a third wheel, commenting: "I'm sorry but I think it's really clear who's the most important person in your husband's life and it's not you.
"Please, think long and hard if this is the husband you and future children deserve. He's supposed to be your partner, a team, I feel like you're the third wheel in your husband's life."
Referring to the fact her husband said she had a problem, one wrote: "What a terrible thing to say to a partner. Especially one who is having fertility issues.
"Take this money and see a divorce attorney asap. This is not a man you want a child with."
What would you do? Let us know in the comments.
