My husband and I have been married for two years, together for eight, and have a two-year-old son. In the past, he has taken me for granted; we would go for weeks without a kiss or a hug. I confronted him a few months ago. He realised I am considering leaving and burst into tears. Since then he has been fantastic and attentive, but all that pain has destroyed our sex life. I would never be intimate with him again if I had my choice. I love him deeply, but I would probably have left him if it didn’t hurt him so much. What is the right thing for our family?
• When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.
• If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.
• All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email: private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see http://gu.com/letters-terms
