Dear Coleen
I hope you can help me with some advice on the dating front. I’m nearly 76 years old and have recently lost my dear husband of 33 years to lung cancer. I cared for him for 15 months as he fought a courageous battle that he could never win.
As I don’t have any siblings or children of my own, I’m finding life very lonely. My late husband was very aware that this would be the case and he urged me to look for another male companion to help me to start a new life for myself for whatever quality time I have left.
I’m not on the internet and don’t have a smartphone and would feel more comfortable with an old-fashioned approach to finding a male companion or friend anyway.
Also, I don’t drive, so need to be able to meet people in my local region. It used to be quite easy to find introduction agencies, but everything seems to be mobile phone-based these days.
The house is so quiet when I’m here alone and I would appreciate any advice on how I can go about finding a new relationship.
What would you tell this reader to do? Have your say in the comment section
Coleen says
Honestly, I think it’s never too late to meet someone special. However, your grief is still so raw, so I’d be careful about jumping into any relationship right now. Give yourself a little time and space to come to terms with your loss. Caring for your husband must have been so hard and it’s very difficult to cope with his death because you were together for a long time.
I get that you’re lonely, but friends and relatives can help to combat that, and filling your life with interests and hobbies is also a good distraction when you’re coming to terms with loss.
I think it’s wonderful that your late husband gave you his blessing to meet someone else – your happiness and wellbeing was obviously very important to him.
In terms of meeting people the old-fashioned way (friends and potential partners), look around your local area for social clubs and groups with members of a similar age.
Visit your library and community centre, and see what’s on that interests you. But don’t look at it as purely a quest to find a partner – think of it as opening up your social circle and introducing you to lots of new people who might become good friends.
I think it’s great you’re open to meeting someone else, but if you find you’re struggling with the loss of your husband, bereavement counselling might help.
You can call bereavement charity Cruse on 0808 808 1677.
