My husband and I have been having relationship problems, but I thought we were doing OK until I found out he has been lying. He went away for a long weekend with friends and they visited lapdancing clubs. I knew as soon as I picked them all up at the airport – they looked so guilty. But when I asked him later he lied, first about visiting a lapdancing club, then about having a lap dance, then about how much he spent on lapdances, and about physical contact during the lapdance. One of his other friends told his wife all the details, and so the rest made a pact to keep it secret from their wives.
He expects me to just get over it but I am so hurt by his behaviour that I can’t. It’s not the first time: previously, I discovered he had been paying for porn – again, when I confronted him he denied it until I showed him the credit card statement. I don’t feel we really recovered from this but stayed together anyway. There have been several other times when he has stayed out all night with no explanation, sent porn emails around his office and inappropriate texts to women at work, and got into fights – he’s been charged with assault more than once. All this he blames on drinking too much and not feeling like he has grown up. I don’t know how we can regain trust, or get over this yet again.
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