When Debbie Dowsett met her future husband, Tony Williams, it wasn't an instant connection and she admits it was far from love at first sight.
After they got chatting at a residents' meeting in 1999, her first thought was that "he thought he was really clever".
Debbie was 26 at the time time and Tony was 42, but she quickly realised that he was actually very clever, and it wasn't all just chat and romance blossomed.
She taught him how to do tarot cards and their first official date was a trip to the cinema to watch James Bond three months later.
By January 2000, Debbie moved out of her mum's house and into his home, and they could not keep their hands off each other.
She said: "We had instant chemistry - we got on really well in the bedroom. I'm one of those that can go for hours, and he was exactly the same.
"We'd spend the whole day in bed, stopping and starting."
But two years into their relationship, Tony first floated the idea of sleeping with other people but Debbie wasn't interested.
She said: "I said no at first, because I thought we might both get jealous and I didn't have a lot of confidence.
"Tony kept telling me over the years 'there are men saying they fancy you', and I told him to stop being ridiculous - until about five years after he first asked, I finally gave in and decided to give these websites a try."
Signing up to several websites dedicated to extra-marital affairs - including Illicit Encounters, a dating website for married people - Debbie was flabbergasted by the response.
She said: "One of them showed how many times your profile has been viewed, and I'd had 100 views in an hour. A few blokes had even started conversations with me.
"I couldn't turn around to Tony and say 'no-one fancies me now'!"
With encouragement from her partner, Debbie plucked up the courage to meet up with another man for the first time soon after.
She said: "When I came back home the morning after my 'date', there was no weird atmosphere.
"Tony just asked how it was and if I had a good time. And I had."
In 2009, Tony also signed up to the sites and between them the pair had at least 25 conquests over the years.
Debbie's beaus included a man who liked to treat her with gifts like flowers, cuddly toys and chocolates, and another who would take her out for cultural trips to museums.
She added: "I could meet up with a bloke every day of the week, apart from weekends - they'd normally be seeing family or their children then.
"The majority of men I slept with were either not married, or were going through a divorce."
The couple, from Hainault, North London, had strict ground rules including regular STI checks and using contraception with other partners, and meeting a potential flame in a public place to check them out before doing the deed.
But bringing back lovers to their home was fair game, even if the other was in.
Debbie recalled: "I had this one guy who I slept with for about a year who we'd go upstairs, do what we were going to do, and then he'd go downstairs and have a chat with Tony afterwards about the rugby!
"It was a bit strange at first but I soon got used to it."
But in 2011, Tony's health began to deteriorate and Debbie gave up her full time job as a hairdresser to look after him.
He had a catalogue of issues, including lung disease, a leaking heart valve, muscle problems with his legs and suffered from mini-strokes.
In September 2019, he went into hospital for what the couple thought would be a routine eight-hour operation on his heart.
But due to complications after surgery, he never came home.
Even as he deteriorated in his hospital bed, Tony still encouraged Debbie to sleep with other men.
Debbie said: "He'd ask me if I was still on the websites and seeing anyone, and I told him I hadn't been because of everything that had gone on with him.
"I was so worried about him that sex was the furthest thing from my mind.
"He turned around and said 'Do it - there's no reason not to.'"
But while Debbie continued to check the sites each morning for messages, she was so dedicated to seeing Tony in hospital each day that she did not have time for fun between the sheets.
During this time, she reached out to three friends she had made through her raunchy escapades, and has known for 10 years, for emotional support.
She said: "I'll hear from them at least once a month normally. We'll check in with each other with a text message and see how we are.
"I spoke to one of them over Christmas 2019 - they had asked how Tony was and I told them what was going on, that Tony was very ill in hospital and they were really sympathetic."
And when Tony passed away on January 7, 2020, with Debbie by his bedside, she was 'absolutely devastated'.
In the wake of his passing, and with no children to reach out to for support, Debbie turned to her male friends.
She said: "When he died, I told them and they have been a massive support. They each said if I needed anything they would try to help.
"It means a lot to me, because I'm not completely alone."
Tony's funeral was not until April 10, but because of the first national lockdown, no-one was able to attend the cremation - not even Debbie or his four children from a previous marriage.
She said: "It was an incredibly difficult day. My friends got in contact with me on the day to ask me how I was feeling.
"I couldn't say goodbye to him and see him laid to rest - I never saw him again after the hospital.
"It made me feel really lost, like 'what did I do to deserve this?'. It felt like I was being punished."
Debbie announced Tony's death on his online profiles, which she still has access to - and one of his lovers reached out to her.
"She told me she was sorry to hear what happened, and that she was there if I needed her," Debbie said.
"It was nice of her, but she was Tony's friend, not mine."
Since Tony's passing, she has continued to surf the sites like they used to do together.
Now she feels ready for some action in the boudoir, but the pandemic has put a temporary stop on her sex life.
She said: "I have found it difficult in that department; I've not had sex since Tony passed away.
"I used to get 10 to 15 messages a day before the pandemic, but now I'd be lucky to get 5.
"I wasn't tempted to break the lockdown rules because, knowing me, if I did I'd have the police knocking on my door to give me a fine.
"But once things lift, I'll be ready - and I know Tony would give me his blessing."
