My girlfriend threatens suicide each time I try to break up with her. She even threatened it when I did not answer my phone, as she was convinced I was with another woman. I just want to normalise our relationship and become friends. I have threatened to break off all contact but this is met with hysterical threats. Our problems are compounded by language and cultural barriers; the divorce of her parents (she is an only child); the memory of her abusive ex-boyfriend; and her physical (if not also mental) health problems. I have asked her to see a counsellor, but she sees this as an insult. I feel as if everything I do unintentionally pushes her closer to catastrophe.
Samaritans is available round the clock, every single day of the year, providing a safe place for anyone struggling to cope. Please call 08457 90 90 90 in the UK (calls will cost 2p per minute plus your telephone company’s access charge), 116 123 (ROI), email jo@samaritans.org, or visit www.samaritans.org to find details of the nearest branch.
• When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.
• If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.
• All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email: private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments).
