Dear Coleen, I’m a fairly recently divorced man in my 40s and I’m dating a really great woman.
She’s fun, things feel light, and our relationship is a welcome change from my marriage, which was very hard work, especially towards the end.
My problem is, my girlfriend, who’s the same age as me, is really flirtatious with other men and I’m struggling not to let jealousy get the better of me.
I haven’t brought it up with her because I don’t want to sound petty or cause an argument, but my ex-wife had affairs, so it’s a bit of a trigger point. Any advice?
Coleen says
Trust is so important for the success of any relationship, and if you’re struggling with that, then maybe this relationship isn’t a long-term prospect.
Maybe you need to be with a different type of person who doesn’t trigger these feelings inside you.
But try talking to her about how you feel – she might not be aware of her behaviour or how it’s making you feel.
Maybe she doesn’t even see it as flirting. It might prompt a bigger conversation about how she sees the relationship and where it’s going. Some reassurance might be all you need.
And, remember, just because your ex cheated on you doesn’t mean it will happen with every woman you date.
