What does my fishtail say about me?
“Being a merman makes for a glamorous and sexy lifestyle. I’m somewhat helpless on land, so people bring me drinks at parties and I get to be carried around by lots of attractive men with muscles.”
What the fishtail really says
This column is called What Does This Say About Me, but it is impossible to see the Me in this picture. Jason has utterly transformed himself into his alter ego, such that his everyday personality has disappeared. He is a Vampire Merman, and he will not be doing anything ordinary, like walking or having a wee. Even drinking looks as though it might be tricky, with those feathers.
The merman aspect of Jason’s look is more dominant than the vampire. Mermen – like mermaids – are seductive creatures. They are sexy, without having anything actively sexual about them such as genitals. So clever Jason has added the vampire. This compensates for his merman inability to fully respond to those who fancy him, by letting him have death-sex using his teeth.
The Vampire Merman is arty, though not wholly art. It’s sexy, but there’s no proper sex. Jason is presenting himself as a unique and desirable treasure that must be cared for and protected before it disappears again. Vampires and mermen live in the night and in the sea; they are in this world, but only a lucky, doomed few get to see them. Those who do are bewitched. The Vampire Merman turns Jason into living erotica, the fantasy of fanciable mystical creatures.
Jason is happy to be carried from place to place, by “men with muscles”. (Or with mussels, anyway. Sorry.) He’s playing with power: he exerts power by being desirable, but in doing so reduces his own physical power to almost nothing. It’s impossible for him to move. He’s like a gorgeous woman who can’t walk anywhere because her tight clothes and high heels stop her doing so. Stunning, fun, magical… but the only way he can truly enjoy the fruits of his creation is by taking it all off when he gets home.
If you would like Miranda to cast an eye over your favourite possession, email a photograph to magazine@observer.co.uk
