Thanks to my three days of technical drawing instruction at Hadlow College last month, using the parallel motion I can now draw a horizontal line under the first successful year of my garden design degree course.
I thought this might enable me to discard my pens and stash away all my learning neatly into a bulbous tuber, ready to regenerate when appropriate. But no, we have been told that we must continue to photosynthesise all summer long. It appears we are evergreen perennials - not for us the opportunity of going to seed, and certainly no dormancy at any time of year.
It seems there is no justification for resting on one's Aucuba japonica, and the garden hammock might well remain empty this summer. But I must admit to relishing the opportunity to investigate plant varieties, attempt to memorise the entire RHS identification guide, visit gardens and carry out research into building materials. I am well and truly hooked into the mechanism that is drawing me towards September and realise that becoming a part-time student at such a ripe age has given me a real sense of purpose and direction.
Who knows if I will eventually design meaningful gardens in the real world, and who cares? The components that are drawn together for the course are all useful and rewarding in their own right (perhaps with the exception of the AutoCAD software at this point in time - I would be delighted to see it disappear off the earth tomorrow). We have been warned to expect to "hit the ground running" come the new academic year, insinuating that the last year was a breeze. I feel I have been running for much of the past 10 months and wonder if some new shoes with bouncier soles might be in order.
One of the unexpected highlights of the entire experience so far proved to be our technical drawing finale. I was anticipating mental anguish, pain and torture to emanate from my stash of adjustable set square, scale rule and dangerous instruments, but what I received was bizarre but gifted guidance from two wacky tutors from Greenwich University. They formed an unlikely but unbeatable double act of a "Paul Merton meets John Betjeman" calibre. I'm not sure how to measure the exact angle on the subject that they provided, but I do know that it was acutely inspired.
Another big bonus is the bunch of like-minded individuals from all walks of life who embarked on the garden path at the same time. It pains me to acknowledge that I could physically be the grandmother of the youngest (but the hair's all wrong), and it is equally appalling to accept that there's nobody on the course who is old enough to be my own parent, yet alone grandparent. With that in mind I hereby urge Hadlow College to launch a recruitment campaign with the University of the Third Age. Students from the U3A would not only glow in the excitement of formalising an interest in horticulture, but also feel smugly charitable about providing such a valuable service to the middle-aged. I feel positively pubescent at the mere thought.
