Get all your news in one place.
100's of premium titles.
One app.
Start reading
The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle

My father recently died and now my children insist they want a dog

xxx
My children will not accept that, with my husband’s allergy to dogs, it is unlikely that we would be able to get one (posed by models). Photograph: Alamy

This, on the face of it, seems a trivial problem but it really is causing a great chasm within our family and I do not know what to do. My husband and I have three children, ranging from 10 to 19 years old. We are generally a happy family and I would say both of us are hard-working parents who put our children first. Our eldest two children are finishing their A-levels and GCSEs. Just before their exams started, my father died. We have all coped and battled through, but our children have recently said that they would like a dog. I have asked them to put the discussion on hold until after their exams, but they bring the subject up constantly and will not accept that, with my husband’s allergy to dogs, it is unlikely that we would be able to get one. We also have two tortoises and a fish, which I have ended up taking care of. I can see why a dog seems so appealing, but to care for an animal properly would need somebody to dedicate enough time and energy. We do, however, have a basement that has been kitted out and the children think that the dog could be kept down there and therefore be kept away from my husband.

• When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.

• If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.

• All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email: private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments).

Sign up to read this article
Read news from 100's of titles, curated specifically for you.
Already a member? Sign in here
Related Stories
Top stories on inkl right now
Our Picks
Fourteen days free
Download the app
One app. One membership.
100+ trusted global sources.