Dear Coleen
I’m a bisexual guy in my 20s and a few weeks ago my girlfriend dumped me out of the blue. I didn’t take it well and one night I hooked up with one of her dad’s mates in a bar – he’s gay, in his 40s, fun and good looking.
I never thought it would be a problem because I thought it was over with my girlfriend and I also assumed sleeping with this guy would be short-lived and just a bit of fun. But I’ve slept with him several times now and it’s been good.
Now, however, my ex has been in touch, saying she wants me back and her dad’s mate is also starting to get serious about us.
He’s always offering to cook me dinner and take me out, so it’s moved out of the bedroom and into relationship territory.
I’m so confused about what to do. I think about my ex a lot and want it to work out between us, but what if she finds out that I slept with this man?
I like him a lot, too, but I’ve never really seen myself getting serious with a guy. When I’ve hooked up with them in the past, it’s just been about sex.
Please help – I’m losing sleep trying to work out what to do.
What advice would you give to this reader? Have your say in the comment section
Coleen says
Well, you are popular! Firstly, do not get back together with your ex-girlfriend while you’re this confused about what you want.
Secondly, I don’t think it’s really an option any more – it feels very close to home because this guy is her dad’s mate.
Also, does she even know you’re bi and have slept with guys in the past?
I just think this could get very messy and even if you didn’t confess to sleeping with her dad’s friend, you’d constantly be worried about the cat getting out of the bag.
I think it would be sensible to have some time being single until you’ve a better idea of what you want and that might be neither of them. Maybe what you really need is to explore your sexuality a bit more and just have fun dating.
You don’t say why your ex dumped you and I wonder why you think it would work out with her this time.
If I were you, I’d walk away from both of them and make a fresh start.
