After the Academy of Medical Royal Colleges drew up a list of treatments often prescribed but never really necessary, Stuart Heritage wrote in response with his own extremely serious list of things to stop doing right now. From 1 (eating five portions of fruit and vegetables a day) to 40 (reading the news) he riffed through the everyday advice he feels there’s no need to heed – and your response can be summed up with this comment:
We thought we’d round up some of that nitpicking (you really weren’t keen on not washing you jeans) and, inevitably, our favourites from few suggestions of your own.
First, an ex proven wrong?
Aaha.
My ex is proven wrong; I was correct not to clean my teeth, wash daily, use deodorants or wash my trousers.
I bet she'll be feeling pretty embarrassed today. She'll probably be calling me right now.
And an angry addition ...
And can we add pressing the crosswalk button multiple times? WTF? The lights are on a very intricate pattern of timing to manage traffic flow across the entire city. Their delicate balance cou ldn't give the tiniest of fucks about you not being able to wait 60 seconds for the light to change in your favour. Your city traffic management team are not waiting for you to disrupt the thousands of vehicles moving through that light this hour.
Press it once to let the system know you want to see the green man walking, because you still haven't worked out that the green light for traffic moving parallel to you also applies to you, but know that it has absolutely no effect on how soon the light changes.
None.
At.
All.
While we're at it, put down your smartphone for the 20 seconds it takes you to cross the street so that you can avoid being struck by the person looking at their smartphone as they drive through the red light you were so terribly distressed waiting for.
Pushing your way off a plane? Unnecessary
41 ......getting up out of your airplane seat as soon as the plane stops.......just go back to sleep until a nice stewardess wakes you up.......customs officials will wait for you.....and the queue will be shorter.....win, win, win
Thirsty? Fine by this commenter
41. Ignore recommended alcohol intake guidelines or, if you must, use the Spanish ones as they are so much more generous.
On a more serious note:
You don't need a polling card to vote but as someone who works as polling staff, it does help us speed up the process - it has your electoral registration number on it which is an easy and logical way to find people on the electoral register and mark them off as a voter which we have to do before giving out ballot papers.
Speaking of polling and elections, an exit strategy ...
23 Playing the lottery
You’re far more likely to be struck by lightning twice than to win the UK’s Lotto draw. Just give up and accept your miserable fate.
No! It's my exit strategy from soul-sucking daily wage-slavery.
Re: #23 -- There is one guaranteed way to win the lottery at regular intervals.
1. Don't play it at all.
2. Every time you don't play, put the cost of a lottery ticket into a jar.
3. Decide how frequently you want to "win" -- the longer you are willing to wait, the bigger the "payout" will be.
4. Open the jar after your planned interval. If you can wait months or years, it becomes a nice chunk of change!
5. Go wild and spend your winnings. Just don't forget to donate a small portion of your "winnings" to the sort of charitable causes that rely on lottery funding.
Yes, this is exactly the same as having a piggy bank.
It was the question of not washing your jeans that really got you going
I don't understand not washing jeans. Can anyone help? Surely If I don't wash my trousers then they will smell after a while?
Stick them in the freezer, apparently... it kills the bacteria that makes them smell? *shrug* Lots of new expensive jeans advise it as washing just makes them look faded and rubbish.
As I understand it, in South Korea people very rarely wash their jeans. Instead, the pop them in the freezer. I'm not entirely clear on the reasoning behind it, but i think it's something to do with fit and not shrinking them.
It comes up now and again when I run design workshops with Korean students, and the students from other countries always "nope!" them. It doesn't seem likely to take off here any time soon, and i have no idea how it got off the ground in Korea, either.
Continuing the personal hygiene theme, a invitation for head lice?
I just rinse my hair every morning. No shampoo or conditioner unless I have been doing some particularly grotty work. Head lice love clean hair. The shampoo strips off the natural oils and makes it easier to stick their eggs to the hair shaft.
If head lice really do prefer clean hair, people in ye olden dayes wouldn't have been lousy with them. It's a myth designed to make people feel better about having head lice.
A couple of points of order on number 24 (‘don’t take toothpaste on holiday’)
If you must buy toothpaste (see 30-34), stop wasting your luggage allowance on it. There are shops where you’re going. Buy toothpaste there.
But surely, unless there's loads of you, brushing five times a day or something you'd just end up throwing out good toothpaste when you finish your holiday? Also toothpaste really isn't that heavy, and I'd really rather nor spend the first few hours after I get off a plane hunting for toothpaste.
Once went on holiday with someone who didn't take toothpaste. Shops were closed when we arrived at 10pm and he couldn't brush his teeth before bed or in the morning before breakfast and then he had to find a chemist then catch us up.
Of course nobody would lend him any toothpaste as he'd just explained how daft we were for taking it with us.
Last but not least, this exchange
41. Don't bother reading lengthy lists of things not to do.
(even though I've just added to said list)
42. Don't bother commenting on lists that you shouldn't have bothered reading . Oh damn....
Click here to read more reader response and – and the original article.
This looks like a pretty solid list. I think everyone should nitpick it to death.
GO!