When your children get to the age where they're going out on dates and perhaps seeing a certain special someone, it can be exciting for the whole family - especially if you get on with them. Sometimes though, you'll likely see a lot of their significant other, and they'll probably tag along to things you do as a family - but you may be accepting of this.
One woman took to Mumsnet to question whether she was being 'cheap', however, for complaining that the boyfriend often 'turns up' to events, and they 'feel obliged to pay for him the same way we do for her', stating that 'he expects us to do the same thing for him'.
She wrote: "My daughter (21) has been going out with a lad for three years. He is a very nice person and we all get on well. My am I being unreasonable is, she invites him to everything we do, often without warning us and when he turns up, we have feel obliged to pay for him the same way we do for her.
"They are both students and don't have a lot of disposable income. So when we go out, I buy her entry tickets to events, food, drink etc. But he expects us to do the same thing for him and I am getting a bit fed up.
"It's one thing when we have planned to do something with both of them, but I am getting heartily sick of him just turning up in the car he seems to have no problem paying for and then expecting us to pick up the tab for food, drink, etc.
"He also eats at our house four nights a week. Nor is our hospitality reciprocated by his family - I don't expect it to be, but I am irked. However, I am menopausal and don't know if I am overreacting. But all this money is adding up and we are not an ATM machine!
"She can't seem to do anything without him and doesn't even seem to think about the extra money we have to find when he turns up. Should I say something or will this cause a huge fight? We can afford it, it's just I feel taken for granted!"
Other parents encouraged her to say something, saying it was 'unfair' how she was being treated.
Someone wrote: "Say something. Does seem unfair that she's expecting him to tag along to everything and you to pay for it."
Another commented: "You are being completely reasonable. Can you and your partner sit down and talk to the two of them calmly to try and resolve. Otherwise, maybe stick to entertaining them at home while your daughter is with this scrounger and wait for her to see the light about him."
"Gosh after three years it's going to be a challenge to tackle and change this. I don't envy you", one reasoned. "I think the current economic climate is a justifiable reason to raise this with your daughter.
"I'd be ok having him to tea. But not paying for entrance tickets or meals out. But I understand you want to spend time with your daughter. Tough call."
What would you do in this situation? Let us know in the comments.
