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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle

My daughter and nephew have an inappropriate relationship

Should I alert my sister to the situation, or try to forget it instead? (Posed by models.)
Should I alert my sister to the situation, or try to forget it instead? (Posed by models.) Photograph: Digo Photography/Getty Images

My sister’s son, 25, and my daughter, 18, get on well. He’s a handsome lad and she’s an attractive girl. Recently, I accidentally discovered she keeps a diary and was unable to resist reading it. I was shocked at what I saw. Apparently one day while on holiday, she deliberately made him sexually excited by insisting they go swimming naked. No one could see them and unable to resist losing their virginity, they enjoyed the thrill of unprotected sex in the sea. She writes that it felt wonderful and that he was in absolute ecstasy, knowing my daughter is on the pill. Although sex between cousins is, I believe, legal, I think it’s disgusting. As her mother, should I confront her with my findings and alert my sister to the situation, or try to forget it instead?

• When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.

• If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.

• All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email:private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments).

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