There's nothing wrong with hosting a child-free wedding if you don't want anyone under a certain age at your special event. But if that's your choice, you have to accept that some parents will end up skipping the bash to be with their kids instead.
One groom-to-be, however, has been left fuming after his brother's wife said she wouldn't be attending his wedding because of the child-free rule he's put in place - as someone needs to look after her young son.
The groom has said it's "unacceptable" for his sister-in-law to skip his big day, despite the fact that it's his decision to ban his nephew and other kids from the ceremony that has made her want to stay at home.
In a post on Reddit, the groom's brother explained that his wife's parents have also been invited to the wedding as they get on well with the family, but this means that both sets of grandparents will be at the ceremony - so the couple can't leave their son with them.
He also said the pair do have a nanny, but that she has her own family to take care of when she's not looking after their son, and so they don't want to disturb her on her days off when it's not an emergency.
The option of having his wife's sister look after their son is also off the table, as she's a self-employed business owner who can't take the time off work because it'll impact her income.
So, the only option left is for the man's wife to stay at home with their son while he attends his brother's wedding alone.
In his Reddit post, he explained: "My brother is getting married in May 2023. He and his fiancee have requested no children at their wedding or reception. Now here's where my problem comes into play. Our son is 20 months old and on the quiet side.
"My brother invited my wife's parents as he really likes them. Now, all four grandparents have been eliminated from childcare. We pay our nanny very well and would like to avoid overtime with her since she has her own family to care for, and it would cost us several hundred dollars for the day.
"My brother suggested my sister-in-law (wife's sister) take the day off work to watch our son. The thing is, she is self-employed and owns her own business where it's just her doing the work, so every day she doesn't work, she has to make up for it. This is about it [when it comes to] who we trust to watch our son."
The man said his brother has also told the couple to "figure it out" soon, as he believes not having his brother's wife in attendance will "embarrass" him in front of his wedding guests.
He added: "My brother does not seem to understand the pickle he's put my wife in, and told us 'You have time to figure it out', and that we better do so 'before you or your wife embarrass me in front of over a hundred people'. My wife understands and respects the no children rule, but she'd have to hang back and miss the wedding because of it. This is unacceptable to my brother."
In an edit to his original post, the man also explained that his wife's parents have said they'll only attend the wedding if she does, but that's creating a "lose-lose" situation for his wife.
"For those asking about my in-laws, they've said they'll only go if my wife goes," he said, "If she doesn't, then they won't. If they back out to take our son, my brother will think my wife convinced them to bail and take my kid and make more drama out of it. It's a lose-lose for my wife."
Commenters on the post were largely on the wife's side, with many saying that while it's the engaged couple's right to have a child-free wedding, they also need to accept the impact that has on their guests.
One said: "They're the ones who want no children at the wedding. They can't hold it against potential guests who might not be able to arrange childcare for the evening. Your brother quite frankly is being a groomzilla and it's okay for you to stand up to him and say you won't attend the wedding if this behaviour continues."
While another wrote: "Do not bring a child to a child-free wedding. Either stay home or get a sitter. However, your brother needs to understand that an invitation to a wedding is not a summons. You and your wife make the best choice for you."
And a third posted: "If he really wants you to attend, he shouldn't make it so difficult for you to attend. People getting married think the world revolves around them, and it doesn't."
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