Response by Dr. Ishita Mukerji, Internationally Renowned Psychologist
Thank you for writing to us! Parents play a vital role in shaping a child's personality. It is important that you and your husband realise that both of you may partially be responsible for your daughter’s choice to find comfort in being around her female peer group. Parents should avoid creating a bias against particular sex in the mind of their children because the presence of the opposite sex cannot be eliminated. Rather, what parents should do is to educate their children about good touch bad touch, making their children aware of the co-existence of different sexes, just like people from different geographical and socio-economic backgrounds. We should help them understand the existence of good and bad and how to appreciate the good and avoid the bad in people around us. Well, it’s never too late to make corrections in life. Both you and your husband can surreptitiously start sharing a positive outlook towards the male members of the family and social groups. You can start with how your husband has added value to your life. How your brothers (if you have any) or your father or uncles or teachers or friends from school added value to your life. Similarly, your husband can also talk about the responsibilities undertaken by good men or the virtues that define a gentleman. This way, you would find that if your daughter has developed any bias or insecurity against her male counterparts, it would slowly get diluted, and she would find the comfort and confidence to hang around with them. However, please don’t push her too hard to change and allow her to gain her trust naturally.
Have a parenting query to share? Send it to us at times.parenting@gmail.com and we'll get it answered by an expert.
