Since turning 50, I have taken self care very seriously – in fact I have prioritised it – and I definitely feel the benefits… mentally, physically and spiritually
And so does my family.
But what baffles me is that when women, especially mums, take time out of their busy lives to reset, many feel guilty – or are made to feel so.
Men never get guilt trips laid on them if they leave their families and go off on a golfing break.
For the last two weeks I have been at a retreat in Portugal.
I left my hubby and children at home because, quite frankly, after a very stressful few months, not to mention nearly two years of lockdown and home schooling, I wanted to get away from it all.
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I needed some “me time” where the only decisions I make are what juice to drink and what bikini to wear. But some comments about my decision to do something for myself are astounding: “Ooh, I could never do that, I’d feel too guilty.” “Won’t you miss the kids?” “Will your husband cope?”
Men never get asked those questions because in our society it is just accepted that they can go away. But mums must stay home.
Sorry, not this mum. I think it is imperative for women to take themselves away from their families from time to time, if they can.
Until you do, you can never appreciate what you have. Before I came away, I was tired, stressed and very irritable.
And quite frankly, my hubby and kids needed a break from my constant barking of orders, shrilling and general moaning.
My husband was over the moon to know I was going away to recharge and come back happier.
I have been coming to Portugal, for three years with a friend. Every time, I grow in so many ways.
Getting to know others helps with confidence and self esteem and I meet like-minded people, many of them mums, also taking take time off from their brood.
Everyone is here to reflect, take stock and heal themselves away from the distractions of home.
I’m past the age where I can party, drink and scoff as much as I want, so I come here to reset, detox and rejuvenate through sleep, activity and nutritious food.
The result is weight loss, brighter eyes, clearer skin and glossier hair. And that helps me feel good from the inside out.
I know I am lucky to be able to enjoy such an indulgent break. But you don’t need to go far to get away.
A coffee with a friend, a walk in the park, a pamper session in the bathroom with a “do not disturb” sign can do wonders for you.
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But whatever you do to create some “me time” don’t feel guilty – just remember you still have an identity outside of being a mum and a wife.
My hubby respects my decision to take a break from home. And my kids are growing up realising it’s OK to make time for yourself.
Towards the end of my trip, I get excited about seeing my tribe again – refreshed, de-stressed and happy to throw myself back into busy working mum mode.
So take a break. You and your family deserve it.
