A mum who says she's witnessed her friend 'failing at parenting' has asked the internet if she should intervene.
The woman says while the children in question, who are under the age of eight, 'aren't in danger' she fears that their parents' behaviour risks 'poor outcomes when they're older'.
Taking to Mumsnet to voice her concerns, she said: "Has anyone ever had a situation where they think someone close to them is failing as a parent?
"Do you intervene when you feel the children are at risk of having poor outcomes when they're older (they aren't in danger but I feel they could have issues as adults)
"I don't have kids so I know mentioning anything is going to lead to 'you don't know anything because you haven't got kids'
"What do you do? Just let people carry on potentially hurting their children and them growing up hurt because of their childhood?
"I'm no way is this a judgmental post - I am just worried for the children. It makes me sad. Also very scared of ruining relationships by intervening."
Dozens of Mumsnet users replied asking for specific examples, which the woman was reluctant to give in case it 'outed' the parents in question, however she did she while there was no abuse or neglect, she "just knows the kids aren't happy - and I think it's the parents as to why."
After more users pressed her further she said: "Ok an examples - constant shouting and I have seen physical situations, never an actual punch or slap but just unnecessary physical force."
Hundreds of mums responded to offer advice telling the woman she should speak up if something does not seem right, One said: "If it is actually dangerous and damaging then you need to consider whether speaking to them will have any chance of success or whether speaking to SS (social services) is a better way round.
"If it's simply a parenting choice, then you need to be careful. It's unlikely that coming in telling them it's wrong you're very unlikely to get anything other than a breakdown in relationship."
Another warned: "Tread very carefully. If I was genuinely concerned about a child’s safeguarding then I speak to my friend openly and honestly or report it depending on the situation.
"Parenting advice is only welcome when asked for and without having children, unless you know a massive amount about the subject you are discussing, your opinion may be deemed irrelevant."
But for some it was a serious matter. One said: "I think contsant shouting is abuse actually."
Another agreed it was abuse, saying: "Emotional abuse is abuse. You've seen "unnecessary physical force". This could be worse when there are no witnesses present. I think you're right to be worried about it. The NSPCC has a helpline. You could give them a call and ask their advice."
Another added: "It is abuse and I would report it."
A fourth urged: "Please don’t listen to people saying none of your business. Talk to the parents, try to calm them down.
"Plant seeds in their head that they’re not dealing with it effectively eg ‘Wow you seem stressed’. Let them talk, empathise, ask them if they’d like to deal with it another way. Flag it to the school."
A fifth user agreed: "Also - "unnecessary physical force" is physical. Not being a slap or punch doesn't mean it's not physical abuse. Please seek advice."
"If this person is acting like this with under 8s, who generally are pretty easy in comparison to teens, what going to happen when the kids hit puberty?!" said another.
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