A pregnant mum has shared a post asking for advice on how soon she should allow her in-laws to come and stay after having their baby via planned C-section. The in-laws live a few hours away and have offered to stay in a hotel but the mum-to-be was hoping to hold them off for a few weeks after birth.
In a post shared on Mumsnet the woman asked for advice on when she should allow her partner's parents to visit the newborn. She said: "I don't want to be that woman who lets her own mum meet the baby on day three of life and holds off the in-laws. But equally I don't want them to travel all the way to London and then be upset that they only get to see the baby for an hour a day – or that I'm not 100% sure how I'll feel about other people holding her at that stage."
The woman said that with her parents only living an hour away they would just pop in to see the baby and not be there all day but she feels that since her in-laws would be coming down just a few days after the birth and staying in a hotel they would want to visit for the majority of the day and said that "this sounds very soon".
Read more: Woman unimpressed 'besotted' friend wants to use same name for her baby
She asked other mums online for advice as to whether she was being unreasonable to want to wait a little bit longer due to having a C-section as she might not be feeling up to having guests all day as she said "I'll presumably still be bleeding and lactating a lot".
The mum-to-be added: "If they lived an hour away they'd pop down, meet the baby, then go home, and I'd be very happy with that. But because it's a big journey and they're spending two nights in a hotel (which won't be cheap), it seems like they're going to be around a lot. And I just don't know at what point you have to put your big girl pants on and accept that there are people you don't know that well in your space, holding your baby, or whether it's fair to say: 'Look I need a couple of weeks'?"
She asked for advice from other mums about when they felt ready to receive visitors and how many hours would it be acceptable to allow them over. In the comments one person said: "Gently, you are being unreasonable. That's their grandchild and their son's baby. Welcome them, for more than an hour a day, and preserve the relationship. Remember they are equal grandparents and just as excited as your side. Waiting five days when they're a car drive away seems like a long time to me.
"You've said they're nice, they're staying in a hotel. I've had two sections and was fine with visitors. Unless they're a**holes no-one will expect much of you and if it all gets too much just bring the baby to your room for a feed. Your husband can be on tea duty.
"One of my loveliest memories is of [mother-in-law] meeting my first in the hospital. She asked if she could pick the baby up and when I said: 'Of course' the joy lit up her face. She's a fantastic grandmother and my children adore her. I would hate to have put roadblocks in their relationship."
What's your thoughts on this? Let us know in the comments.
Another poster added: "Let them come, just make sure hubby understands that you need looking after. Get them to make the cups of tea, ask them to bring a cake! For dinner get a take out and enjoy that really precious time together."
The pregnant mum said that she wasn't close at all to her in-laws so one mum in the comments came to her defence and said: "You are not being unreasonable, you will be post-op, you have no idea how you will feel, how it will go etc. I would just say that because you don't know how it will go book X date two weeks after the C-section so you can be sure they can visit, you would hate for them to come down after four or five days and still be in hospital.
"To be honest I wouldn't want anyone I barely know in my house for hours at a time after surgery and while trying to get to grips with a new baby and breastfeeding. As you say it would be a lot different if they could pop in for an hour and leave again."
Find great options for your family in your local area:
