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Wales Online
Wales Online
Amy Reast & Daniel Smith

Mum says never sharing a bed with her husband makes their relationship stronger

A mum-of-four who is an Orthodox Jew never shares a bed with her husband - and said it makes their relationship stronger and keeps their sex life "passionate and spicy". Miriam Ezagui, 36, is happily married to husband Aron, 35 - and are parents to four girls between the ages of nine and 14 months.

The family, who are Orthodox Jews, follow religious practices in line with the faith - and Miriam shared how one particular rule has impacted her relationship. 'Taharas Hamishpacha' is a Jewish law stating that the week of her period, and the following week, in a time period known as 'Niddah', a woman may not be physical with her husband in any way.

During this time, the couple don't share a bed - however, Miriam and Aron took this to the next level and sleep in separate beds all year round. Miriam said the decision might surprise some people but works for them - and makes their entire relationship stronger.

She said: "During the time of Niddah, we can't be physical in any way, so any problems you have can't be solved by a 'kiss and make up'. You have to work through issues with words on a deeper level and it is definitely something which enriches the relationship. We made the decision because we like our own space, but it has some benefits too. Not sharing a bed, even outside of Niddah, makes you so much more sensitive to touch and makes it more special because you don't take it for granted when you can again.

"When you haven't been physical or even touched for two weeks, the sex feels like your wedding night all over again. It keeps things passionate and spicy."

The two parents both work intense jobs - with Miriam working as a labour and delivery room nurse while Aron is a paramedic - along with parenting their four daughters. The parents both work different shift patterns, sometimes including night shifts, so it made sense for them to have separate beds to avoid waking each other, even outside of Niddah.

But they found that this made their sex life much better in the two weeks of the month when they can be intimate. Miriam, from Brooklyn, New York, said: "In the time of the month where you are allowed to have sex in Judaism, it's not seen as something we shouldn't enjoy. It's considered an extremely holy time and something which can strengthen the relationship."

Miriam explained that being unable to be intimate during the time of Niddah forces them to work through any issues on a deeper level rather than using physical touch to solve the problem. She explained that this "deepens the relationship" rather than relying on a hug and a kiss to brush over the problem.

While outside of Niddah, their decision to remain sleeping separately was more based on practicality, Miriam said it had another positive impact. Miriam said: "Not sharing a bed, even outside of Niddah, makes you so much more sensitive to touch and makes it more special because you don't take it for granted. It holds a certain type of specialness."

A misconception of Orthodox Judaism is that relations outside of baby-making are frowned upon - which Miriam said is not true at all. She explained: "The way Judaism views intercourse is as a positive thing for a couple to engage in, when it's the right time.

"When you can be together, you should - regardless if it's to make a baby or just for pleasure. Keeping half the months with no contact, and never sharing a bed, makes the relationship more intimate. When you haven't been able to touch for two weeks, it makes everything so much more passionate and spicy when you do. It feels new - like our wedding night all over again."

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