A mum has told of her horror after realising her husband of two years proposed with an engagement ring he original gave to his ex-fianceé
The woman said she had been with her husband for seven years and married for two and have one child together, while he has a child from his previous relationship.
She says she knew he was engaged to his child's mother and that she gave him the ring back when they split.
The ring appeared again when they were first moving in together seven years ago but the mum says never actually seen it and he told her he 'got rid' of it.
Fast-forward a few years and he proposed to her, presenting her with a diamond ring, which she says he felt 'suspicious' about at first.
Posting on Mumsnet, she said: "Will keep it short. Married DH a couple of years ago and pretty quickly got pregnant and had DC.
"I had my suspicions at the time that the ring DG proposed with was the one he gave his ex (and mother of my SC) which he was given back when they split up years before, they never actually went on to marry, but couldn't quite put my finger on why I thought it.
"I knew he had the ring still when we first met as he found it when we were getting rid of a lot of stuff when moving in together. This was about 7 years ago now! The ring sort of disappeared and he said he'd just gotten rid of it.
"At the time when he proposed I did wonder, but as I never saw that ring again couldn't really remember exactly what it looked like so couldn't say 100%.
"On the once or twice it had come up he'd just skirted over what he'd done with it and the box the ring he proposed with was in looked a bit worn. I asked him outright a few months later and he said absolutely not, he got mine from X shop in a town near us and went specifically with a friend to choose it etc etc."
But the woman has recently found out that her husband did recycle his ex's ring - and she is not happy.
She said: "Anyway, long story short it's come to light now that it is the same ring.
"I'm actually really p****d off. Not because I'm a***d about having a fancy ring, I'd have been happy with anything.
"But I'm upset that he lied and to be honest I am upset that it's the ring he gave another woman too. I'm embarrassed as well in a way, this is the mother of his kids, who hasn't been the kindest to me, god knows if she has spotted it but if so it makes me cringe. It's the kind of thing she'd take pleasure in knowing that I don't realise.
"I'm actually really really annoyed. Is it petty? Am I right to be? Does it matter? I know the lying matters but I'm also pissed off that it's the same ring, would that part bother you as well?"
The woman was supported by hundreds of comments from other mums who said she was absolutely right to be annoyed.
One said the husband was 'lazy and thoughtless, adding: "I'd feel the same. He sounds lazy and thoughtless at best. Go to the jewellers and get it swapped for something you want, add in some money and get it upgraded."
Another said: 'That’s awful. Not only is he a cheap b*****d but he lied and lied and lied to your face. I’d find that very difficult to get past."
Others had more stern advice: "Sell the ring and buy yourself the ring that you want. If he’s got anything to say about it, tell him to f*** off."
Another asked how he reacted since she found out, asking: "I would be really hurt by this. I actually think it's even worse that you've found out so many years later as it means he's kept up the lie for years. How has he reacted? Was he apologetic or defensive?"
The mum says he has apologised about lying but doesn't see anything wrong with recycling the ring.
She added: 'He was apologetic about the lie. But he doesn't think there is anything wrong in using the same ring, he said he couldn't afford one as nice as that at the time but he knew I'd be 'funny' about it as me and his ex always had a bee in our bonnets about each other at the time apparently. She barely wore it according to him and only had it for a few months before they split."
But other mums were still not happy.
One said: "What a d**k. Classic..sorry but.."
Another agreed: "I've just read back and he said he lied because he "knew you'd be funny about it" I'd find that really hard to forgive.
"The whole thing would make me feel like I'm filling a vacancy rather than that he valued me as a different and individual person. That might not be the case of course but that is how I would feel. I'd never wear it again."
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