A devoted mum arranged for a box of presents to be delivered to her son for his 30th birthday - 10 days after she died.
Carol Donnan, 55, passed away just 29 days after she was diagnosed with stage four stomach cancer.
But predicting she wouldn’t live to see her son Kevin’s 30th birthday, devoted mum carefully collected and wrapped a box of her son Kevin’s favourite things.
She arranged for them to be delivered to him and student Kevin said it was typical of his mum, who always put others before herself.
Despite being terminally ill, she also bought and wrote a year’s supply of birthday cards to send to relatives when she was gone.
Kevin, from Belfast, said: “I wasn’t even thinking about my birthday. It never even entered my head. I was still mourning.
“I was given the box a few days after my birthday. There was my favourite aftershave, boxers, socks and some of our favourite photos together.
“She made sure it was as real and as normal as possible. She filled it with sentimental things that I can keep forever.
“I found it mindblowing. Mum was dying but was still thinking of other people.
“I was elated that she was still thinking of me all that time. I felt huge warmth and sadness at the same time. I am so happy to have had someone like that in my life.
“It’s amazing to know she was still thinking of us when she was on her deathbed. I felt so honoured.”
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Care assistant Carol, from Belfast, went to her GP after experiencing a loss of appetite and heartburn.
She was referred to Belfast’s Mater Hospital for a CT scan which revealed she had incurable grade four stomach cancer, in March last year.
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Carol, who was married to Paul, 50, was told her only option was life-prolonging chemotherapy.
The family “clung onto the hope” Carol would survive for at least a few months, but after celebrating St. Patrick’s Day at home, her condition deteriorated.
She was rushed back to hospital with fluid on the stomach and tests showed the cancer was spreading, Kevin said.
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In her final days, Marie Curie nurses came to her home to look after her overnight, and give her more time in her own bed.
“It felt like we were shoved onto a rollercoaster that we didn’t want to get on,” said Ulster University student Kevin.
“She seemed very accepting of it. She had accepted her death sentence.
“For her she just wanted to make the most of the days she had left. The cancer had spread so much by the time it was spotted there were no treatment options left.
“The nurses were the loveliest ladies I’ve ever met. They would let us get some sleep and said they’d wake us if they needed us.
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“It was such a relief to have them there. Really, it would have been petrifying to not have them there overnight.
“I was terrified that something would go wrong, and she would die alone as we slept.
“When she died it was just so unexpected. I was in disbelief that it was happening to us.
“You never think anything like this will happen to you. I always thought my mum would live to 100. She was our protector and was so strong.
“I thought she was indestructible but when she died it was like she was a blade of grass that had been cut away.”
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A few days before Carol died on April 5, last year, she planned her own funeral, sorted her finances, and arranged Kevin’s present, for his birthday on April 15.
With the help of his sister, Alice, 21, Carol made up a box containing a bottle of his favourite after shave, photos and notecards, as one final birthday gift.
Kevin said: “We gave her the best possible send off.
“She wanted everyone to be happy at her wake and she wanted us to have a disco.
“We slowly and surely got back to normal but we’re dealing with a lot of grief.”
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Since Carol’s death, her family has raised more than £2,000 for Marie Curie, which provides support for cancer sufferers and their families.
Kevin and his relatives plan to spend the first anniversary of her death, on April 5, together peacefully remembering Carol in private.
Kevin speaks openly about his mum’s death on his blog, which can be found here.
