A heartbroken mother whose son took his own life has spoken out about the need for mental anhealth support for men.
James Wentworth-Stanley was 21 when he elected to have a minor operation on his testicles, but immediately afterwards became paranoid that the surgery had left him impotent.
His depression developed at a rapid pace d he began to feel suicidal.
Only 10 days after the operation the university student took his own life, Liverpool Echo reports.
Now his mum Clare Milford Haven has stressed the importance of suicide prevention. She last year opened a support centre in Liverpool called James' Place to help others.
"He said he was feeling a bit down and I told him anaesthetic could do that sometimes and it might take a while to exit his system and to give it a bit of time, " Ms Milford Haven said.
Dad hanged himself in Tesco after being convinced 'someone was coming for him'
James visited home the following weekend and it was apparent to his mum that he still didn't feel like himself.
His family tried to reassure him that the feelings he had would pass, that things would improve and that he could always make an appointment to see his doctor and talk through the concerns he was having.
Ms Milford Haven added: "He went back to Newcastle [where he was a student] and called me and said 'mum you always make me feel better' I thought he was getting over this difficulty, whatever it was."
Later the same week it became clear that James was still struggling, he missed an exam and came home where he continued to tell his mum he "didn't feel right".
An appointment was made to go and visit the surgeon the following Monday and make sure James could talk through his concerns.
Student, 23, plunged to his death after leaning out of his bedroom window
During that weekend James asked his mum if he 'looked different' and said he felt like he'd 'lost strength'.
Ms Milford Haven said:"For James, being a man was very important, masculinity meant a lot to him. I think he felt he'd been stripped of his masculinity by this operation. What I didn't know at this stage was he worried the op had made him impotent."
And it emerged after James died that despite asking for help and telling staff at a local walk in centre that he felt like killing himself, James was considered a low priority and referred to A&E.
Ms Milford Haven said: "I didn't know at that stage that he'd been to a walk in centre in Newcastle on the Wednesday, and told them what he felt. They wrote that he felt anxious about the operation, it said he felt suicidal. He told them that, he never told me.
"They gave him a form to take with him to A&E and thy put it as a priority four, a low priority which still staggers me, a young man , he was the highest risk category for suicide in 2006," said Clare.
Ms Milford Haven added: "What kills me is he asked for help , he didn't want to die. He didn't do what he did without looking for help first."
The mum, whose family home is in Worcestershire, chose Liverpool for James Place because it is a large university city and Ms Milford Haven met with several people who suggested it would be supportive of her vision.
Jane Boland, centre manager at James’ Place said: “We chose Liverpool as the home for the first James’ Place, as the city is an area of high mental health need and Mersey Care NHS Foundation Trust is one of the best and most innovative mental health providers in the country.
"People worried about how that might feel or who are unsure about asking for help - it will break down that barrier.
"If you've never had any therapy or you've been anxious about a situation this is how you cna visualise, how you can get through it. The card lets you do that, trying it out, practicing and by the time you get to the front door you've already met someone. "
Ms Milford Haven added:"He [James] went to A&E with a piece of paper, walked in and pretty much walked out. In the state he was in that waS the wrong environment. "
"Had there been somewhere for James, he needed to talk to someone, he didn't need A&E, he needed someone to reassure him, needed that person to feel they had permission to call me. He would have said yes - we were incredibly close.
There were so many things that went wrong, the nurses [at walk in centre] should have have been trained to know he was high risk. If a young man comes in and feels suicidal alarm bells should have rung but he was made a low priority. When I reflected - if only there had been a place for him to go to. Not A&E - that's hectic and chaotic, brilliant for physical trauma, but for this it was the wrong place.
"If there had been a James' Place, he would be here."
Since opening in June 2018 the centre has helped over 100 men in crisis.
If you need to speak to someone, Samaritans are available 24/7 by calling 116 123 or by emailing jo@samaritans.org
