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Wales Online
Wales Online
National
Neil Shaw

Mum refuses to change her school-run outfits despite all the abuse

A mum has defended her “inappropriate” and “too revealing” outfits she wears on the school run - despite regular abuse. Charlie Hayes, 22, has amassed more than 100,000 followers on TikTok, where she shows off her colourful, alternative outfits

Despite her huge following, she has faced a stream of abuse both online and in person. Tik Tok users have called her clothing “inappropriate” and “too revealing”, while others even accused her of being a bad mum.

A recent ensemble led one TikTok user to say: "Is it normal to flash your a*** at other parents and kids?" Another said: "That skirt is far too short for the school run".

The same outfit - a black top and tights with boots and a purple mini-skirt – even prompted a motorist driving past her to shout "you look disgusting". However, Charlie hasn’t let the abuse stop her. She said: "People think I'm a bad mum because I don't fit the mould of a typical mum.

"But the more people tell me to tone it down the more I go against it. I like winding people up with the way I look." Charlie has described her look as “camp” and “theatrical” and isn’t going to let critics change how she dresses.

She said: "It’s crazy to me that the clothes I wear can make people so angry that they go online and say the vilest thing they can think of. Like, go to therapy man! Why are you that invested in what someone’s wearing?"

Her son Jasper has also fallen victim to trolling, as people have taken to social media to criticise his waist-length blonde hair, a style Charlie says he chooses himself. She said: "The most horrific comments I get online are directed towards Jasper and his hair.

"I’ve been accused of abuse, neglect, attention seeking and pushing him to be gay and trans. People seriously are insane. He’s just a boy with long hair.

"I am a bit like a bit hippy. I let him play with whatever toys he wants and don't make him adhere to gender norms. But he’s always gravitated towards more boy’s stuff anyway. He loves cars and Spiderman and Marvel.

"He just likes his long hair – he thinks it’s cool and that’s it. It's his choice and always will be. If he comes home from school and wants it cut then that’s what we will do."

Shockingly, the four-year-old’s hair once incited a woman to scream at the mum in a Burger King. Charlie said: "A lady came up to us and said 'she’s really cute'.

"I said 'oh, he’s a boy', and she started shouting at me, asking what genitalia he had. No one stepped in, which upset me because she was shouting in my face in front of Jasper.

"She also said ‘you are going to confuse it’, referring to him. Poor Jasper was just trying to eat his ice cream."

Charlie does worries about Jasper being bullied for his locks but so far he hasn't faced any mean comments from fellow pupils. The mum "does [her] best to let him express himself" but tries to push him towards "normal kids stuff" to protect him.

She added: "He keeps insisting he wants the underneath of his hair dyed rainbow. I've suggested blue or red but he won't have it."

Charlie moved to Canterbury as a teenager. She expected it to be a liberal place to live due to its large student population. However, she found the opposite to be true, describing the city as "one extreme or the other" in terms of people's reaction to her looks.

She said: "Canterbury was hit or miss. I either had people being really nice or really mean to me.”

She has now moved to Folkestone where she is feeling much happier. She said: "People are a lot friendlier in Folkestone - it's really cool down here.”

Despite getting a few double-takes on the school run, Charlie says the parents and staff at Jasper's school have been nothing but nice to her. She said: "All of the staff at school and nursery have no prejudice towards me, for the way I look, or for being young or anything.

"The other mums are nice too. Most of the negative reaction I get is on the internet – I think that’s where people feel safe to be nasty."

Charlie insists if the school were to say an outfit was inappropriate, she wouldn't mind and would not wear it again. On TikTok, critics have said: "Where's the school? The red light district?"

She has also been asked: "School or strip club?" A common reaction is always "poor kid!".

Surprisingly, most of the hate comes from women, and often other mums. Charlie said: "If it’s a man it’s easier to brush off the hate.

"The majority of men online are just annoyed that I’m not a standard baby-making machine. It’s so upsetting when it’s from other mums, especially tattooed or alternative mums. I expect it from men, but not women."

Charlie buys most of her clothes from charity shops and within her extensive wardrobe the young mum has some particularly controversial pieces. This includes a maxi dress picturing ashtrays full of cigarette butts. She said: "People got really angry about my ashtray dress because they said I was promoting smoking to kids.

"I have one top that has an AK47 on it that says ‘make peace not war’ and people got really upset about that because I was wearing a gun on the school run. I think people who are already uncomfortable with the way I look just wait for a reason to justify being uncomfortable with it.

"So, they can say ‘look there’s a practical reason you can’t do that’. I don’t think any of it is valid criticism."

Charlie believes the source of the hate is the expectation for women to "fit into a box of the typical mum" after having children. She added: "I think as a young mum you're expected even more to prove yourself and be modest, quiet and follow the rules. I don’t feel I need to prove myself to anybody.

"I’m a good mum and Jasper is an amazing kid, so I don’t really care to fit a mould of what’s expected of mums. I think it’s absurd that after you pop a kid out - one of the hardest things you could do - then is the time to be docile and settle down."

Charlie, who runs her own business upcycling and selling clothes, regularly gets recognised from her internet fame. One question fans have for the influencer is how long it takes her to get ready before school every morning.

Her response is: “It only takes me about 20 minutes to do my make-up and 45-to-an-hour in total to get ready in the morning. I plan my outfits the night before. I get so excited about what I'm going to wear each day that it motivates me to get up and do something.

"It's my passion. It makes me happy to be able to dress up like a Barbie doll in the morning."

In stark contrast to her own personality, Charlie's partner Sam is a tracksuit-wearing labourer. She added: "Sam is not alternative at all.

"He usually wears tracksuits and works a labouring job. If you met him you would have no idea his girlfriend looked like this."

While other children tell Charlie that they love her clothes, she is worried that as her son gets older, he will be on the receiving end of abuse due to her crazy style. But she feels that "having embarrassing parents growing up is sort of a rite of passage".

She added: "People are much more accepting nowadays and will continue to get more accepting, so I don’t think the way I dress will be so controversial as he approaches his teens.

"Anyway, maybe I won't still dress like this then - but I highly doubt that!"

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