A mother caring for her son left in a vegetative state after attempting suicide has been branded as 'selfish' by online trolls.
Mum Helen Barnes lost her son Jack, 20, in March this year after a two-year battle to help him learn to communicate again after he became severely brain damaged when he tried to hang himself.
Helen documented Jack's journey through recovery online in a bid to encourage dialogue on the mental health issues faced by young people.
Jack had tried to hang himself in a woodland in 2017 aged 18 near Saundersfoot in Pembrokeshire , Wales Online reports.
Authorities found him after he had been hanging for ten minutes but his brain had been starved of oxygen before being cut down.
Earlier in December, and just months after his death, Helen was targeted by a wave of messages telling her how “selfish” she was, how she was “torturing his soul,” and how she was “killing him every day by keeping him alive”.
Helen said: "They say I was a horrible mum for keeping Jack alive.
"People should not be afraid of talking about mental health problems. It was never just a question that he’s broken so he should die – it was always about Jack’s best interest."
Helen believes the messages may have come from a post two years ago, which was shared on a Facebook page in the USA.
Jack suffered with his mental health for a number of years. One evening, he vanished from the family home and police found him an hour later in a woodland.
Due to Jack's record of mental health issues, his mum Helen had immediately alerted police to his disappearance as he never usually left the house without her nor sent text messages with kisses, but had messaged her to say 'don't worry xx'.
Helen can clearly remember that day on March 4, 2017. She said: "As soon as I got that text from Jack I knew something was wrong. He never just popped out or put kisses in his texts. I didn't want to overreact because he had been doing so well so I called the police non-emergency line.
"An officer knocked on my door and said: 'We've found him. He has a pulse'. And I was like: 'What do you mean? he had a pulse when he left'."
Authorities took Jack to Withybush Hospital. Two years later, on March 23 this year, Jack sadly died aged 20.
For Helen, who is facing her first Christmas without her eldest son, she is still living through the consequences of Jack's battle with his mental health.
"This is the reality of it all. This is what can happen when it comes to mental health," Helen said.
"Knowing I will never see him grow up, travel the world, get married, and have children is just heartbreaking."
That day in March was not the first time Jack had attempted to end his own life – he had taken two overdoses before, once at school and again at home.
Jack had faced mental health issues ever since he was a young boy and had been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) aged just 14.
He had struggled to cope through school, which Helen partly puts down to the death of his grandparents and her divorce from his father in 2012.
But that did not explain his uncontrollable rage, which could sometimes lead to him trashing rooms, cutting himself, and punching walls to purposely break his hands.
It was after his second suicide attempt, in his own bedroom, when Helen sat down with doctors and demanded an answer.
For two years after his suicide attempt, Jack learnt to communicate again.
After spending two weeks on a breathing machine, having a tracheostomy, fighting off sepsis , and developing epilepsy, Jack left Withybush on June 1 that year.
He was transferred to a neurology rehab unit at Neath Port Talbot Hospital in Wales where he started to receive physiotherapy and speech therapy sessions.
It took him eight months to learn how to communicate by blinking – one blink for no, two for yes.
Helen used to ask her son if he still wanted to be die. Sometimes he would blink twice.
"Knowing he was all there, trapped inside his body, was both hopeful and tragic," said Helen.
He eventually returned to live with his mother and twin sister Lucy, in Pembroke Dock, in December 2018 – just in time for Christmas.
Helen gave up work as a support worker with dementia patients to care for her son full-time and the house was adapted to cater for his needs.
"I would sleep on the floor of his room and we would watch TV together if he was awake," said Helen, aged 49.
"I didn't want him to feel alone. He'd gone back to being a baby. But I didn't want him to suffer."
Right from the start of his journey Helen openly shared pictures of her son in his hospital bed. She was determined to show the devastating impact of mental illness.
But in March this year Jack fell ill and was rushed to hospital. He had developed a severe infection and the decision was taken to stop treatment.
"They used to say he only survived because he was so young and had a strong heart," recalled Helen.
"But he kept getting infection after infection."
Now, if she has just one message for anyone struggling to cope, it's just talk to someone.
For confidential support the Samaritans can be contacted for free around the clock 365 days a year on 116 123.
