A mum was left devastated after a doctor asked why she was in the room while her wife gave birth.
Mum-of-two Charley - who did not wish to give her surname - claims a senior consultant made the comment as partner Ruth was in labour with their first son.
The 34-year-old said even the couple's first trip to the fertility clinic was "very awkward" and doctors seemed uncomfortable answering certain questions.
Charley and Ruth, 40, who both work for North West Ambulance Service and live in Greater Manchester, decided to speak out about their journey to become parents, reports the Manchester Evening News.
They tied the knot in 2016 and started IVF treatment using the money they received from wedding gifts with the full support from their families.
However, remembering their first trip to the clinic, Charley said: "It was a very awkward conversation. For me, it had become such a normal natural process.
"But to sit in a room in front of a professional with a blank expression on his face really put us into an insecure state of mind."
Have you suffered a similar experience to Charley and Ruth? Let us know at webnews@mirror.co.uk
Charley and Ruth left feeling deflating and defeated.
Ruth added: "What was supposed to be a nice process, wasn't."
Charley continued: "We have come so far in life and society, but until you've had a moment where someone makes a derogatory comment or looks at you with a blank or dirty expression, you realise maybe it hasn't changed all that much.
"While 10,000 people could accept you and support you, it just takes one person to make you feel so insecure."
Despite their initial setbacks, Ruth became pregnant using Charley's egg and a sperm donor.
However, when the time came to give birth in September 2017, the couple continued to experience hurdles with the medical team.
Charley said: "When Ruth gave birth to our son, a senior consultant questioned why I was in the room and who I was."
Their newborn baby boy was premature and was in the process of being resuscitated when the consultant questioned Charley's identity.
She added: "To be in that intense moment and then to be questioned as to who you are, because I was a woman in a room rather than them just accepting we could be two mums, they just didn't think that could be an option.
"I thought, oh my god, as if we're in this position right now and that was your first comment."
Charley and Ruth's boy grew up healthy and soon welcomed a new baby brother into the family when the pair decided to adopt in September 2020.
As their boys grow closer to school age, Charley and Ruth worry about some of the comments he might receive for having two mums.
Charley said their eldest had just turned three when he asked where his dad was.
Charley said: "I told him he hasn't got a dad. He's fine with it, because he trusts us and we're his mums.
"But one day someone could make a comment to him that could change him."
The pair both expressed frustration at the general consensus from people 'outside the bubble' who don't understand the reality of the torment they and their boys could face.
Ruth added: "If it's not in your life, you don't see it happening."
Charley agreed: "You can sympathise and empathise all day long but you cannot claim to know how that feels.
"To say everything is fine now feels like an easy way out."
Elsewhere, the pair have struggled to find inclusive literature and media to share with their children where they feel same-sex parents are normalised rather than trivialised.
Charley said: "When you read about two kids on an adventure, it's never an ordinary book where it just so happens they've got two mums.
"You really have to go looking for that kind of book and we really struggled with that."
In the subtle yet very real face of adversity, Charley and Ruth hope their boys can grow up with a wider world view to be accepting of differing attitudes.
Ruth added: "We need them to know their life is perfectly fine and if someone turns around and tells them no, they need to understand it's just an opinion."
She continued: "We never want our children to be told by another child that having two mums isn't right.
"But if we can prepare them for that, they will know how to deal with it."
