We all want to be there for our loved ones when they get married, but sometimes life gets in the way and for whatever reason, we have to miss out. If you have supportive friends, most of them will understand if you can't make it to their wedding day - but one new mum has discovered her best mate isn't so sympathetic, as she was outraged when the mum decided to stay at home with her newborn baby instead.
The mum claimed she told her friend earlier this year that she wasn't sure if she'd be able to attend her wedding, as it was scheduled three months after her due date. She was eventually pressured to commit to attending, but when asked again if she would be coming, she once again said she was unsure - leaving her friend and her sister fuming.
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In a post on Mumsnet, the woman explained her baby was born 3 weeks premature and she is still recovering from the "traumatic birth" she endured, so doesn't feel up to the task of attending a wedding that's due to take place in October.
But the bride's sister has branded her a "bad best friend" for not simply leaving her baby at home and being at her mate's wedding - and even told her the "world doesn't stop just because we have babies".
The mum wrote: "I announced my pregnancy right before the new year, and my best friend then announced her engagement to her fiancé two days later. Obviously, being her best friend she expected me to be maid of honour, and said she wanted me to be able to squeeze into a dress for her wedding day in October.
"I told her in January that I wasn't sure if I could even make the wedding as it would be only 3 months after the baby would be born, and being a first-time mum, I might still be trying to get into a feeding and sleeping routine. In addition, she lives over 5 hours away from me. I explained that I didn't feel comfortable travelling with my baby that far so early on.
"Then her sister messaged me on Facebook to harass me and called me a bad best friend because I said no. She then said 'the world doesn't stop just because we have babies'.
"Being pregnant and emotional, that really upset me and I decided - just to keep the peace - to comprise with my friend. I said I would see how things go over the months leading up to the wedding and if I felt I could, then I would try to attend just as a guest, which she accepted. Or so I thought."
The mum added that once her baby arrived, she was asked if she felt well enough to attend the wedding and she admitted to her friend that she doesn't feel comfortable travelling with her daughter - and she was once again slammed by her mate's sister, who this time called her "disgraceful".
"She explained: "Fast forward to now, my baby is 11 weeks old - born 3 weeks early in a pretty traumatic birth, which I am still getting over emotionally and physically. The wedding is next month. My friend asks if I have had any more thoughts on whether I'd be coming to her wedding as she's trying to get the final numbers.
"I politely decline again and say I am still not comfortable travelling that distance with my daughter being so little. Cue her sister unleashing more abuse. This time, calling me a 'disgraceful best friend' and then blocked me so I can't defend myself.
"This time, after feeling beaten into submission, I say to my friend that I'll just come by myself and leave the baby at home with her dad because I'm so sick of being made to feel like a bad person just because I'm trying to put my family first and keep everyone happy at the same time.
"This isn't good enough either apparently, and now she's snippy with me. She says I'm only agreeing to go now because I've been guilted into it by a few negative comments from her sister."
Commenters on the post were largely on the mum's side, as although some understood why her friend would be upset by her not attending, they all thought she would be more understanding of the situation.
One person said: "What a horrible situation for you and disappointing that your friend isn't more understanding! As for her sister - that's disgraceful behaviour. I think you need to do what's right for you and not feel pressured either way. Make a decision your content with and stick with it. Only you know how you feel."
While another added: "I can understand why your friend is a bit hurt and disappointed but she should be able to get over it. Yes, lots of people travel around the world with new babies but not everyone feels comfortable with that."
But others said the mum should be making more of an effort, as they felt that having a three-month-old baby was no excuse to miss her best friend's wedding.
Someone pointed out: "I wouldn't go now based on her and her sister's reaction and I would tell her that. But I do think you were being unreasonable by declining in the first place, and you could have made more of an effort."
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