A mum has shared her "frustration" with her neighbour's child after claiming they have "really loud meltdowns" in the garden on a daily basis.
The mum took to parenting forum Mumsnet's popular Am I Being Unreasonable [AIBU] thread to seek advice and ask if she would be in the wrong for "politely" asking her neighbours if they could encourage their child to go inside when he's "agitated".
She titled her post "[AIBU] To have a polite word with neighbours about their DS [dear son] screaming his head off in the garden every day?"
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The mum then explained: "Regular on here, have NC [name changed] for this.
"Our garden backs on to another one belonging to a family with several children. The DC [dear children] are out in it a lot playing football and making a fair bit of noise. That is all fine obvs, I have DC [dear children] too (though they are older now) and I'd much rather kids were out and about in the garden than stuck in front of a screen.
"The dad (who I've exchanged a few friendly words with when lobbing balls back over the fence to them) seems a nice bloke.
"But, one of the younger kids has really loud meltdowns more or less every day. He'll be arguing with siblings or whatever and he will just let out these bloodcurdling screams for prolonged periods. It makes it impossible to enjoy sitting out in the garden (they are small gardens and very close together) and in fact when he's properly screaming I have to shut the patio doors and windows."
The mum continued: "It's a bit frustrating during what'll probably last few days of decent weather not to be able to enjoy our garden or work anywhere near an open window on that side of the house.
"So I was thinking today that I might just go round and say something along the lines of. 'I totally understand young kids getting worked up is a fact of life and but is there any way, if he's very agitated in this way, you could sometimes encourage him to go inside until he's calmed down?' I appreciate that it won't always be possible but maybe if they have a sense of how it's affecting the near neighbours they might consider it some of the time.
"Maybe this is just city life though and to bring it up would be unreasonable and v upsetting for them. Would appreciate some objective views.
"YABU - you live in a city and you just have to suck it up
"YANBU - and it would be ok to have a polite conversation with them about it".
Hundreds of divided Mumsnet users took to the comments section to share their thoughts.
One said: "I'd probably laugh in your face if I were your neighbour."
Another said: "If they could solve the meltdowns they would. And not because of anything you would have to say."
A third commented: "What do you propose they do exactly if their child is having a meltdown? Are they to politely ask the child to go inside? Or pick them up and take them inside and probably make the meltdown worse? Do you think they're unaware of how loud and disruptive a child hysterically screaming is?"
A fourth said: "I have been in the same situation and spoke to my neighbour. I can't say she was overly pleased but I explained to her how it was impacting on us and she couldn't exactly argue as she knows the kids are really noisy. Sometimes you need to have these difficult conversations".
Another Mumsnet user said: "I feel your pain but if they were neighbour sensitive/considerate they would already be proactive on this. I would be surprised if approaching them achieved anything positive."
And another said: "This will be an unpopular opinion but I don't think kids should be impacting on neighbours just because "they can't help it". Bring them inside."
A seventh Mumsnet user commented: "If my children scream in the garden then they come inside and sit in the conservatory. Every. Single. Time. I cannot bear screaming. It goes straight through me. If they are having a tantrum then they come in. Every. Single. Time. The 6 houses surrounding me don't want to hear that s**t.
"I have friends that seem oblivious to screaming, or maybe it doesn't bother them in the way it bothers me, and their kids scream in the garden daily. I think different people have different expectations."
And another said: "Everyone has the right to enjoy their garden and listening to kids daily have meltdowns is not on."
Another Mumsnet user added: "He probably has SEN in which case his parents may not be able to stop these meltdowns, and may hate them even more than you do. I would politely suggest you keep your counsel."
The original poster replied to multiple comments, and explained the issue has been going on for 15 months, with multiple instances of the five-year-old boy screaming on a daily basis.
In one of her follow up messages, she stated: "I really appreciate each of you taking the time to post. It is helpful. I won’t say anything to the neighbours because I’m sure those of you who said it won’t be helpful and has the potential to really offend are right."
At the time of writing, 57% of Mumsnet users voted that the original poster was being unreasonable.
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