A new mum says she has been labelled "selfish" after keeping the news of her pregnancy to herself until after she’d given birth.
For many people discovering they are having a baby, the first thing you want to do is share the news with your family.
Unfortunately not everyone has the healthiest relationship with their blood relatives, which is exactly why one woman chose to keep her pregnancy under wraps, reports The Mirror.
READ MORE: Mum raging at mother-in-law who ruined her pregnancy announcement
Although the pregnancy wasn't planned, the woman and her husband were overjoyed and couldn't wait to welcome their little boy into the family - but while the pregnancy was an overall positive experience, she didn't want her mum, step-dad or his children to be a part of it.
Sharing her story on Reddit's Am I The A**hole, the woman said: “I was estranged from my mum for a number of years and we had sort of reconciled a couple of months before the pandemic sent us into lockdown.
“Our relationship has been rocky since then and I didn't want her trying to push past the let's see stage into me being her baby and her being grandma. She hurt me deeply."
The woman goes on to explain that her issues with her mum began when her dad, who she was extremely close with, passed away after two years of being sick, when she was just nine years old.
She added: “My mum did her grieving when he was sick and was able and ready to bounce back and start dating fast. Whereas I had nightmares, woke up crying and often had panic attacks after his death.
“It p***ed her off that babysitters would call her home from dates and then when she got married and I was crying it p***ed her off even more because she had wanted me to keep watch of her husband's two kids at the time."
Three years after her dad's death, the woman was finally offered professional help for the deep emotional and psychological trauma she was suffering from after losing her dad. After getting into a fight with her mum, the woman moved in with her grandparents when she was 17, and until recently, didn't have any contact with her mum.
This is why she chose not to tell her mum, her husband and his children about her pregnancy until two days after her son was born, because she was worried it would overstep some of the boundaries she had set with her estranged parent.
She said: “My mum was angry and told me I denied the family the chance to be excited and plan for a new addition to the family, that it was her and her husband's first grandchild and I had no right to keep them in the dark for so long.
“He told me I was punishing my mum for being happy when I couldn't be."
The woman is now questioning whether she should have ever reconciled with her mum, but turned to Reddit to ask if others thought she was out of line for not informing her mum about her pregnancy.
Reddit users told the woman she wasn’t in the wrong, with some even encouraging her to sever ties again.
One person wrote: “I might have sympathy for your mum if she had cried and apologised that she had hurt you so badly that you didn't want to share your motherhood journey with her, but after her selfish diatribe?
“No sympathy, and no faith that she can bring anything positive to your life.”
Another said: “ kept my mother in my life out of guilt and feeling I owed her. I didn't owe that b**** anything and neither do you.
“She hurt you and she doesn't care. Keep that vile woman away from that precious baby. You'll be a better mum for it."
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