A mum has asked if she's "cruel" for not wanting to throw her four-year-old son a birthday party.
The mum took to Mumsnet's popular Am I Being Unreasonable [AIBU] forum to seek advice on the situation, expressing worries her son would become "overwhelmed" by a party.
But she said her parents-in-law and sister-in-law insinuated it would be "cruel" not to throw him a party - particularly as he has started being invited to them by his school friends.
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The mum titled her post "[AIBU] To not have a birthday party for my 4 year old?" and penned: " DS is turning 4 soon. He's my first so not sure what the done thing is. He has started being invited to nursery friends birthday parties.
"I just don't know how much he'd enjoy/appreciate a party at his age!? I feel like he'd just get overwhelmed!
"PIL [parents in law] and SIL [sister in law] basically insinuated that it's cruel not to? AIBU to not do a party?
"We'd have presents and cake/balloons on the day (just parents him and little brother)".
Fellow Mumsnet users took to the comments section to share their thoughts.
One said: "I really wish with mine I hadn't bothered! It was about £250 for them to get really upset and overwhelmed and then be given loads of tat and making small talk with strangers in a busy soft play. So much nicer to have a way party at home and of course it isn't cruel!"
Another Mumsnet user suggested: "Invite your child's close friends and have a nice time at home. Whole class parties are the stuff of nightmares."
A third said: "Just have presents/cake with you and DS. Sod the in-laws too! If they want a party that he won't remember, they can pay for it! He'll just want the day with you anyway."
Another said: "I did a party for DD every year from age 1. I regret it. It was unnecessary stress and expense and just set a precedent. And she’s now got two more siblings turning up, who presumably will see their big sister’s parties and expect the same."
One Mumsnet user had a different perspective and commented: "My DDs [dear daughters] have loved parties from the get go it seemed. I'd never get away with not having one at 4 - they count down the days! I only invite family though. So my parents, siblings and their DC and the same on DHs side. With a couple of great aunts thrown into the mix. They have cousins their age on both sides though so it seems like a proper party to them. Could you invite family? I do think it's a bit rubbish not to have some sort of celebration besides just the four of you at home like normal but with cake. 5yo just started school this year so I imagine I'll have to have her classmates for the 6th bday - dreading that to be honest".
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