There’s no constitutional prohibition against fictional characters voting in presidential elections. I feel like if there were, it would have come up in my high school government class. So who would they vote for? Would Olivia Pope have been able to figure out this election any better than we have? Here’s my guess. Disagree with me? Tell me in the comments.
Mulder & Scully
Mulder’s naturally rebellious, so he’d have to be for Bernie Sanders. All the revolutionary rhetoric would appeal to his lack of trust in government. Scully, on the other hand, is highly religious and less prone to seditious behavior. Still, I don’t think she’d ever vote for any of the Republicans because of their denial of climate change science and anti-choice policies. I’m going to guess Hillary on this one.
The Walking Dead
We all know that the post-zombie apocalypse world is run by fear and intimidation. It’s a place where only the strongest survive, where the powerful prey on the weak, and inhuman, sociopathic behavior is the norm. I guess they’d mostly vote for Trump. He’d promise to build a wall around the zombies, but make the zombies pay for it. Come to think of it, I would thoroughly enjoy an episode of The Walking Dead where a Trump-like character attempts to negotiate a deal with a zombie. I’m sure that would end well.
The cast of Bravo’s Vanderpump Rules
Jax, Tom Sandoval, Stassi and Kristen seem like they’re Ted Cruz voters. Tom Schwartz, Katie and Ariana are Bernie Bros. James can’t vote here because he’s English. Lala may or may not be able to read, which could make voting difficult. And most of you have checked out because you’ve never seen this show. Boy, are you missing out.
Hannah Horvath, Girls
Hannah would definitely vote for Hillary, but also make all of her friends feel guilty for voting for Bernie.
Olivia Pope, Scandal
Olivia is a bright, career-minded individual with an impressive résumé. She’s also hopelessly in love with a rather shady fictional president. Her taste for bad boys can mean only one thing. She’d also vote for the baddest bad boy of them all. Of course, I’m talking about John Kasich. Have you seen this guy’s edgy, rebellious haircut? This style is so badass that I forget I’m looking at John Kasich and think I’m seeing another badass celebrity named John. John Ritter, of course. Hide your kids and hide your wives. Krazy Kasich is on the prowl!
Hakeem Lyon, Empire
Hakeem would lose interest in the democratic process as soon as he realized he wasn’t on the ballot.
Brody, Homeland
Trick question. Brody’s dead.
Jessica Jones
Jessica Jones wouldn’t vote. Voting requires getting out of bed at a decent hour and waiting in line. Also, um, voting is for nerds, OK?
Noah Solloway, The Affair
It was a wet night in Montauk. Unseasonably so, even for this beachside town. The waitress at the Lobster Roll was drenched when she walked in for her afternoon shift. From the glimmer in her eye, I could tell she found me irresistible. If only my shrewish, cackling wife and my dumb, ugly children weren’t here to ruin everything. The waitress shimmied up to our table. Her moist hair glowed underneath the pale fluorescents. “What’ll it be, mister?” Besides her, there was nothing I wanted on this earth. My soul soared and my heart ached. I yearned for her. It was at that moment I declared myself a Bernie Bro.
Jane the Virgin
Definitely not Donald Trump.
Every character on Orange Is the New Black
No one, because as convicted felons, they are not able to vote while in prison. Though, I’m guessing Piper would be feeling the Bern.
Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory
Well, obviously, he’d be voting for the Doctor from Doctor Who! *cue laugh track* BAZINGA!!!!!!! Uh oh, here comes Leonard, and he’s dressed up like a Dalek! *cue laugh track again* EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! *Leonard pops out of the Dalek costume* Hey, Sheldon, the exterminator is on his way to fumigate the apartment. We have to vacate for the next five hours. Oh, and … don’t forget to bring a towel! *please clap* BAZINGA TIMES 2!!!!!
Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul
Better Call Saul takes place in the year 2002, so Jimmy’s definitely voting for Howard Dean in the Democratic primary in a couple years. He probably voted for Nader in 2000 because he was hoping Nader would “legalize it”, if you know what I mean. (I mean grifting.)
