London, once a city ruled by tote bags, is having a crisis of self at the moment. Bag accessories are booming, with the great Labubu takeover of 2025 infecting Londoners left, right and centre — even those who originally seemed sound of mind. These bizarre, childlike adornments require proper bags with proper handles, and so the cult London tote risks fading into obscurity.
But some styles still refuse to die. There are a handful of London totes which are so popular, so deeply woven into the fabric of the city, they will outlast us all. When the world ends and London turns to dust, a Jimmy Fairly bag will be the first thing to be pulled from the wreckage.
Everyone knows a tote bag is shorthand for someone’s entire personality. So, what exactly does your bag of choice say about you?
Mubi
.png)
You tell all your friends the story about the Prince Charles Cinema toe sucker and you hate when people refer to Josh O’Connor as “the guy from Challengers”. You’ve become so used to subtitles you wish they existed in real life.
Jolene
.png)
You have a Monzo flex account and like to brag about seeing Paul Mescal running around Highbury Fields (literally everyone has seen Paul Mescal running around Highbury Fields).
Top Cuvée
.png)
When it came to picking your adult hyperfixation circa age 25 you couldn’t figure out how to legitimise going to the pub, so you got really into wine and small plates instead.
St. John
.png)
You reference Anthony Bourdain too much in conversation and people are starting to notice.
Jimmy Fairly
.png)
Oh, you’re -1.5 in your left eye and -1 in your right? You have an astigmatism? That’s amazing. Should we throw a party? Should we invite Iris Apfel?
Daunt Books
.png)
You act like the London Review of Books and Booker Prize Shortlist are your bibles but I heard you were way too into Harry Potter as a kid.
Burley Fisher Books
.png)
Even w***ier than the Daunt books bag.
The New York Times
.png)
If you didn’t get LORIS on Wordle the other day, you’re legally required to burn your bag.
The New Yorker
.png)
What a cool tote bag! I too was alive in the 2010s.
Trader Joe’s
.png)
You spent a week moseying around Bushwick and decided you would, like, really suit living there. At least carrying around this tote bag means you can occasionally stop and talk to other Londoners who have been through the exact same thought process.
Whole Foods
.png)
When you and the Trader Joe’s tote bag people see each other on the street your eyes narrow and the Kill Bill siren sound plays.
Daylesford Organic
.png)
Live in Notting Hill, but it’s only a matter of time until you and Hugo buy in the Cotswolds. It’s such a better quality of life for the kids.
Rough Trade
.png)
“Oh yeah, the plural of vinyl is actually vinyl, not ‘vinyls’. Ha ha, yeah, it’s okay, at least now you know. Do you want to come back to mine? I don’t have a bed frame.”
Lush
.png)
You have been carrying this around for 10 years. It’s stained and full of holes. A new civilisation could grow in the gunk at the bottom of this bag. Dear god throw it away.
Goyard
.png)
All the money in the world and no taste. You thought the Bezos wedding looked quite fun, actually.
