Well I said to Mummy, honestly it is SO true what they say about hell, Friday was a total nightmare, the Naughty But Nice notebooks, I thought someone would literally die when we ran out, but try talking to Dave about anything important these days *puts on Clementine Churchill face* I’ll be like, so I think we majorly discount the large totes, like is £777 a reasonable number down from £1295, he’s like brilliant, does 700 sound like a lot of moderates to you or should we round it up to 70,000, I’m like excuse me, don’t you know there’s a sale on #typical :(( Mummy’s like, darling, in case anyone asks, is it Daesh or Isil, Willie is sure the Isil-Daeshes have a house somewhere outside Guildford.
I’m like, isn’t it so-called Isil, she’s like, but if it IS just Daesh is that like Rafe, or two syllables with a long a, like darling?
I’m like, God IDK let me check, she’s like, and is it so-called Caliphate or Caliphate, Willie is sure that’s a classic aftershave from Penhaligons, I’m like, IDK, let me ask, the important thing is Dave has literally drawn a line in the actual sand :))) Mummy’s like, how divine, where, I’m like, Ibiza I think, she’s well thank goodness the Med is tideless, just one thing – how many of those free Syrian characters did Dave say are on our side, Willie once met a delightful Syrian, we wondered – I’m like, 70,000 – or maybe it was 7? She’s like, do you think they would be the types for armorial waste bins, I’m like, soz I would love to chat #don’tyouknowit’sBlackFriday?
I’m like Dave, quick, if you do not choose a name I will, he’s like, I very much respect that point of view, I’m like, and are they so-called or actual, he’s like, but do I think Churchill went round obsessing about what to call the Nazis, no I don’t, namewise, the full answer can’t be established until after we have precision-smoten the so-called Isil-Daeshites in their deserty heartland *puts on Churchill face* let me therefore so bear myself that if the British thingy lasts for literally ages, men will still say, this was their finest whatever :(
