So I hardly dare get the phone because when I do it is always Sarah Govey going quite crossly excuse her but can she have Olya back? I'm like, loving your au pair Sarah but, disloyal, much? I know it is nearly the holidays so the Times will need a stand-in, obvs, what else are au pairs for, but I went to Sarah, no offence but if you had not basically told the entire world about making Olya run the mothers' race it never would have occurred to Dave to get her to write his Telegraph piece on the referendum? Plus if she wanted to blame anyone, it should be Nancy? Because once Olya had aced the EU Nancy said it was a total no-brainer to get her to whack Diamond plus if we seriously thought she was going to stay behind & fix the banking snafu while Elvis Costello headlined at Cornbury someone must have been messing with our heads *bless*.
Also the Goveys should be totally proud because Dave thinks Olya would make an awesome junior treasury minister if only she could pass the Britishness test? So Anya said she would gladly coach Olya in exchange for some design input, because coming from, wherever, this like tiny island off Belarus, Olya has this incredible feel for artisanal hemp, but I was like, unless you have a first class degree in ancient whatever do not even go there? Anya was like, so ask me a historical question & I went OK, when did the Selfridges Shoe Galleries open and she was like, duh, 2010. I went fine, which old Etonian played the lead in Homeland, she was like, please do not insult my intelligence Samantha so I went right, hardball, who won the battle of El Alamein, and she was like, megaduh, every 10-year-old knows it was Norman Lamont & I went to Dave if even Anya can get them right this is seriously way too easy?
So Olya has been rewriting the Britishness test to make it more kind of culturally demanding & my only worry is the cupcake section might be literally impossible if you have not had the benefit of a public school education? Olya is like, see what I did there Madam?
