Well I wish everyone would stop banging on about us crying, I’m like *sobs helplessly* FGS would you not be emosh if (a) you had already cut the label out of your victory dress #majorreturnsfail (b) You picked Sarah *voms* Vine for a godmother and (c) she had been trolling you every hour since Sheffield voted leave? I said to Mummy, literally her first text was at 4.45, she’s like, “Get up Sam I need Crosby’s number pronto plus re ur unwanted furniture, I know Marina is more shabby chic, aka dirty lol, God wait till my col about their downstairs loo, but leave EVERYTHING, esp curtains, food, cos u never know, mwahaha, only joking, plus Sam, ask Nancy, does she know any maths or Albaniana experts, u know geog is not my strong point but Michael is busy doing Boris’s col so Boris can play cricket, lol, Dacre says just sack the lazy sleazebag #gottaloveDacre PS Rupert says does Dave want to fill in for Claudia Winkleman this summer, soz no fee with the recession, but whose fault is that lol”.
Mummy’s like, so what IS Dave going to do? I’m like, what would you be doing if you had just tragically lost your job, he’s waiting for you to find him another one, obvs. Mummy’s like, but darling you’ll need Dave for your shop, trust me, in a spiralling recession persuading anyone to buy a £1,500 Samantha tote will be all about the PR. I’m like, tbh I am not sure if Dave’s brand is totally *right* for mine, synergywise? Could he not do PR for you, at least until the City collapses? Mummy’s like, darling no offence, of course the referendum was a complete accident, God knows we’ve all been there, but ever since dear Dave broke the economy I have wondered if retail is really his *thing*, tho if Nancy is free, I’m desperate for help with our Paris move?
Nancy’s like, omigod, how many times, as of Dad’s fail #epic, luxe British tat is 100 percent OVER, trust me, all the hot money is on Mum’s diffusion line, our first ever Thrifty Sam’s 50p shop opens in Sunderland on Monday, catch phrase, Nowt Elitist or Foreign, Mummy’s like, darlings, I’m IN :)))
