Well, it is so not his fault but I said to Mummy, I think Dave might be the only thing stopping Sam Cameron® being a thing? O *does little dance* MIGOD! Because now I am *eek face* literally non swank an actual brand! With Dave as my actual agent!!!! Of course Mummy was like, Bake Off, darling, REALLY?, & Radio Times – I know it is marv to meet ordinary people, but would not eight pages of Vanity Fair be more, you know, fabulous – or even a spread in Country Life, we literally sold out of armorial waste bins, well I hope they asked about creative entrepreneurship in the extended family, while you were baking, there are actually some bins left, oh dear remember poor Mrs Clegg letting herself down at Christmas – does Radio Times do copy approval? Darling – do we even bake? I’m like, IKR, hilair, at first I was like, *me* baking IRL, lol, plus srsly, what if I totally like, lose, how would an epic cake fail look for a premier style brand? Mummy’s like, how thoughtful darling, but I am sure I would get over it, furniture is very different. I’m like, I mean brand Cameron, where a classic vibe meets hipster edgy? But Dave was like *Simon Cowell face* extreme brand-building no brainerama babes, 13 million viewers? Half an hour showcasing a virtually unknown talent while she proves she is SO much more, no offence babes, than a privileged Conservative who flogs insanely overpriced merch to trophy wives, plus, you know the referendum? I’m like, no? He’s like, just saying Craig needs a dead cat on the table, I’m like, bored already, he’s like, listen, Eurowise, Bake Off could be the biggest strategic victory since Lynton weaponised Fallon #winwin.
I’m like, but what about Sam Cameron®, btw I’m thinking SSC for the more affordable/casual line? Dave’s like, genius, love it, all we need is a dedicated taskforce supporting the creative entrepreneurs who do so much for like, creative entrepreneurs, who, like, make this country whatever. I’m like, awesome, can it have an ambassador who is also a Conservative-voting upscale handbag designer? He’s like, yes, I’m like *excited face*? He’s like, soz, appearances babes, I already asked Anya :(((
