Well the BBC is begging me to do Strictly, I’m like actually Rona, Nancy was thinking the next Reith Lectures, as in the fine art of handbags – “where luxury and versatility are never compromised”? If that’s not, like, too uber-serious after #Hawking? Rona’s like, no, fabulous, we are all about risktaking, go for it :))) But now Nancy is on STRIKE? Because of ghastly Geordie? All Sunday we are outside her room going, honestly, we wish Elwen could go somewhere tray street, like you, but what if he wants to join the Bullingdon, or just be prime minister like Dad, & it came out he went to state school? She’s like, lalala I can’t hear you, I’m like, plus you’re lucky, you could be a celebrity guest at Acland Burghley, poor Elwen can’t ever do that, you could even work at the Guardian, lol, please come out? She’s like, sure, after I’ve seen the first £18,000. Dave’s like *enough voice* don’t be silly, she’s like, fine, ringing Camila now, she will defo send me to private school, Dave’s like, STOP, done, any school you want, repeat do not call Cami – that woman!
Nancy’s like, uwotm8, Mum always said she was *imitates my voice* in awe of Camila’s energy and commitment, I’m like, listen, she wore these totes DIVINE turbans from like, Yentobia, plus it wasn’t just me, she had these like magic powers, didn’t she Dave, she literally hypnotised the Letwinator into sourcing her mittens? Nancy’s like, so first you leave me in the pub, then you sacrifice my future for your career, now you tell me your number one Inspirational Woman of the Year is actually totes non-inspoworthy, srsly dudes, next you will be telling me Dad’s famous religious fervour is intermittent, get me Geordie’s number NOW.
We’re like, wait, family privacy, much? She’s like *imitates Dave’s voice*, “We heard this week about where Nancy is going next. It’s a wonderful moment when you’ve had that agony of waiting and then the joy of finding out that you have got a good school place for your child, their friends are going there, they are happy.” I’m like, darling, that is SO last year, trust me, 2016 is going to be all about not talking about schools.
