Well who knew Possession would be so hideously long, if I ever met Antonia I would be like, no offence Mrs Byatt, but some of us have to WORK? The Virgin in the Whatever sounds more lolz except I do not want to waste the 10 pages I have read of Possession and Anya says I must finish one because if you call a bag after a living writer it is only polite, which is why she personally thinks they suck inspiration-wise?
And next time I am so going to pick someone majorly dead because with the Emily nobody even mentioned Wuthering Heights, nb how annoying since I actually know the ending? Iris, maybe, or Daphne or that amazing sex-mad one, Ryvita, we could not go near Sylvia or Charlotte or Virginia, obvs. I said to Mummy thank God we hardly know any literary types I swear you would not believe the suicides and while I think of it, OMG, has anyone seen poor Julian since Titanic?
And Mummy was like, darling, do give Byatt another chance, her Jemima Shore is a total scream, but I was like, tbh, how would a discount on a sophisticated statement bag with golden brass shagreen clasps not be enough for any serious writer, I mean, does Antonia even know how lucky she was to be picked?
As in, it was totally going to be Doris until Anya practically laughed herself sick, I was like – what? – and she was like, you do know she was literally a COMMUNIST? Then I wanted Hilary until Govey said be very careful, she is famously mad about Cromwell, for which read raging Trot, AVOID. So I thought Margaret = uber-literary babe works a sexy, BBC blue-stocking, Our Friends in the North retro-vibe, think headscarves & darling Morris Travellers, but Vaizey went seriously, you might as well call your bag Arthur Scargill, or even Alan Bennett if you really want to channel a pinko libraries martyr from north London? But respect to Prof Vaizey, he went listen, the sister is mint, Victorian-mad, name has three syllables, book clubs can't get enough and to that demographic, £900 on a bag is small change. Works for me :)
