Well if Dave did not need to chillax before he does now because tbh stressy does not come near, Honest Phil was like Jesus, Sandy Bay it barfing ain't, no way he would expose his little Chloe to a dump like that and Mummy says she cannot believe we would subject our guests to the Plough's "home cooked fayre" even if was meant to be ironic in a bunting kind of way? I'm like, excuse me, do I even have a choice, I hate lager but Chequers is so hideous and Dave says how can we speak for ordinary people unless we have our photographs taken in pubs eating a bag of mine host's finest pork scratchings?
Plus Govey says the faux-bucolic English pub is nothing if not richly endowed with anthropological interest or to use the demotic expression, noovs? Eg, they are still working UGGs in there #tragicyokelfail but as for colour-blocking basically you might as well be on the moon? And Mummy went well if you insist on going you might get Dave to connect us on LinkedIn, some dramatic heirloom pieces could really transform that ghastly exposed brick into something approaching cosy chic?
So Craig is in total fist-bump mode about Dave being shorthand for forgetful #sorryNancy because now it will be uber-authentic when he can't remember anything at Leveson tee hee *imagines angry beardyman face*. But Mummy was like, wait, do we know where beardy was at school? I'm like, WHAT? And she's like, well he might be aware most people's children get mislaid for literally years and think you were just practising?
I went seriously, are you serious? Given that half the time Dave genuinely forgets he's prime minister? As in that awkward moment when you're mid-Draw Something or whatevs, the phone goes and someone says "it's Angela" and you're like sorry, Angela WHO?
I mean Dave should just tell Leveson that just the other night he spent three hours on an application to be a Jack Wills resort ambassador, preferably Rock or Nantucket, before he remembered he would not be free until 2015? Which is quite sad as well as hilair because with his tennis & people skills he could be their most genius seasonnaire ever?
