Well literally I do not know why everyone made such a fuss about the Chinese visit? As in compared to meeting Prince Edward :( For like months Oik would not stop going, guys, remember, banquetwise, I promised honourable guests, no mention of politics, I’m like, as IF #boringsnoring, how about the weather, Oik’s like, NO, too close to climate change, I’m like, art then? Oik’s like, above all, NO so-called art, especially not Ai Weiwei, that degenerate *spits* dogfart sonofabitch. I’m like fine, so WTF DO I say? Oik’s like FGS it’s all in the crib sheet, after the formal prostration you might go Respectfully Wish Chairman Mao Eternal Life! or, China & UK PLC Unite with North Korea to overthrow American Imperialism! or - if you want to be totally uncontroversial - Induce Labour! Abortion! Anything but an excess baby!
So after all that I am put next to Prince Edward #FML #Icanteven. As in you can’t ask him what he DOES so I’m like *desperately* so where exactly IS Wessex, he’s like *stares*, I’m like, God, how totes rofl hilair was It’s A Knock-Out, he’s like *stares*, I’m like, I SO admire Sophie – the way she recovered from the fake sheikh thing, though God really how did she fall for it lol, he’s like *stares*. I’m like, personally I think Marx is right *consults crib sheet* Never allow eating the Communist Party’s food and then smashing the Communist Party’s cooking pots! President Xi is like hey that’s one of mine Sam, you’re welcome!
Chinese visitors are actually super easy, because you can go oh what do you do and they go, like, oh I just purge dissidents 24/7 & you go wow respect, I bet they majorly deserve it #BritishValues, they’re like, ha, you would make a great Party member, & you go God how divine, srsly I would LOVE, & they go, could be sooner than you think lol only joking. Plus they can be SO sweet? At Chequers we were still REELING from Heidi Allen & appaz in China she would be totally imprisoned for like, EVER :))) We’re like, & what about Hilto, they’re like, We will crush the Cow Ghost Steve Hilton who endangers our Party and Socialism in the same way that Parasites are Annihilated, Dave’s like, yay!
