Actually I am only quite missing Hilto because tbh what's to like about men in bare legs except for sport, and though the cabinet boys are thrilled to wear whatever Dave is wearing, dear Govey even texts to find out if it is a purple or blue tie day, the jobsworths got so jealous you literally could not move for people in shorts shouting dude and leaving bikes in the hall. Then the minute Hilto brought in his Segway they were like me too, no use Dave saying only Hilto is allowed a Segway because Hilto is a uniquely creative maverick icon, conman, iconoclast, whatever, with a genius for blue-skies thinking eg the big society which is all about communities generating their own nuclear power and other stuff which does not mean everyone is equal, do you think police commissioners will go round in socks of course not, we are talking localism not communism so put your shoes on NOW, dude. They just went "why?", like Hilto, total nightmare.
So literally the last straw was when Heywood came in on a skateboard? Dave could not complain because Heywood is, like, top jobsworth, I mean the hilairness, where do they find these people, but just last week he stopped Hilto closing down all the maternity units because Rachel told Hilto that in California people give birth in the sunshine with just amazing doulas to help? So Dave told Heywood to leave it in the flat or all the drones would want one. Then there was this shouting, thank goodness I had my mobile for historical purposes and Hilto was like, "I am the Downing Street fucking skateboarder, my friend", and Heywood just went, "Why?" And I was like OMFG now what, and Hilto went, "Because that's how I roll", and Heywood went, "No that's how I roll", and Hilto went, "Oh no it's not", then they debated until Hilto went "Two words, shut the fuck up", I mean pure Tarantino, and Dave was like, dude, calm down and Hilto went dude, did you see anyone around Jobs wearing a black polo-neck? Then Dave went and your point is and Hilto went I'm outta here and Dave was like, bring it on, but really he is :(
