Well I have utterly lost track of Downton, so maddening, because all Dave does when he is not going on about the sheer treacherihood of Foxy is bang on about women and if anything Dave says women are way worse because Foxy is basically totes fucked but women are not going anywhere, more is the pity, and I said to Mummy it is driving me literally insane, do you have any idea how WW1 actually turns out, and she went is it not seriously a no-brainer – you just replace Foxy with Mary Portas, because it would be the most amazing thing for women plus Britain's enemies would be scared witless plus I do not think she has got a Werritty she takes to work, though obvs we would have to check.
And Dave sweetly went how legend is your mother, job done end of, and totally forgave her for the new slogan, which is Oka: Where Literally all the Top Tories Shop, Especially The Camerons and Goveys, a bit obvs, tbh, but why not she is a very independent woman it is not my place to interfere. Then it was like OMG dramatic, Dave was ACTUALLY texting the job description to Mary when Theresa came in going, of course I do not personally mind what the ghastly woman says but your precious Mary Queen of Orange Hair has just lost us another three million female votes, and Dave thought she was making it up as per but Danny checked and Mary really had dissed Theresa, rofl hilair, so Dave was up all night going through the Boden catalogue to get a feel for what women might like on top of facials and aromatherapy, because Sarah Govey says what intelligent woman ever paid for that stuff?
So Dave picked out the applique fun skirt for £75 and costed a 5% discount for anyone buying a further 50 garments, but when he told Hilto, Hilto went listen to your friendly Nudge unit, most totty is thick, just tell it crap it wants to hear, like we hate porn and heart kiddies, and trust me, they will buy it, big time, and Dave went gimme five Hilto ma man, you is da GENIUS.
