Well I do not know what the humanists did to Mr Cobber but maybe it was quite bad because literally I have never seen him so angry as when Dave went, hey guys what say we let humanists get married like, wherever, then maybe they will vote for us, I mean srsly, not even when Hunty said smoking can give you cancer? Mr Cobber was like, get married, over my dead body they effing do mate, I hate fucking humanists, always have always will. I was like, really Mr Cobber, even more than you hate plain packaging? He was like, why don’t you just finish the tree Sabrina, stick to what you know eh, I was like, even more than you hate green crap? He was like, I don’t think you heard me sweetheart, I was like & that man you are suing in Australia, he was like, tell her to shut it Dave, no fucking humanists are getting effing spliced in this country, not while I am in charge. End. Fucking. Of.
I was like, but Mr Cobber it would not cost anything, he was like, except TIME when Dave should be talking about kapok, I’m like no offence are you sure you do not mean chaos, he’s like, so now you’re calling Craig Oliver wrong? I’m like, weeell, he’s like, you want the humanist vote, build them a road like anybody else, where do they fucking live?
So I would not normally argue with Mr Cobber, unfort his halitosis is no better, but I think humanists are SO brave? As in God knows where their children go to school? Because everybody knows the church has this secret list, as in people go every Sunday for years & then suddenly there is no space, these friends of the Goveys are like, totally humanist in secret, they literally have this priest’s hole except humanist, obvs, for hiding stuff by Philip Pullman etc?
So I was like *puts on talking to npower voice*, that is quite enough Mr Cobber, since when do you tell Dave what to do, he was like mwhahahaha tell her mate, Dave’s like, actually babes it is quite complicated, Mr Cobber is like, TELL her, Dave’s like, OK, do you know the expression Faustian pact?
