On paper, director James Haslam appeared to have the necessary pieces to make the caper comedy "The Con Is On" a success. The thing to keep in mind is that movies don't exist on paper but have to be produced on film and that's when the problems start.
"The Con Is On" follows Harriet (Uma Thurman) and Peter (Tim Roth) as they travel to Los Angeles in an effort to escape the wrath of kill-crazy gangster, Irina (Maggie Q), who has put a contract out on the con-artist couple. Harriet and Peter use bad judgment one night while babysitting a massive amount of money intended for Irina and they have no way to replace the squandered funds.
Their only hope is to steal a valuable ring from Peter's ex-wife (Alice Eve) and use it to pay her back and stay alive. Stealing the ring ends up being more complicated that anyone imagined.
There's no faulting Haslam on the cast he's assembled, starting with the always interesting Thurman. Just the way she slinks through a scene or handles a cigarette harkens back to a time when this kind of campy heist movie was fashionable. Her polished style is a stark contrast to the disheveled look Roth maintains. Peter has such an obsession with alcohol, it's difficult to imagine he would have time for a wife let alone more than one.
Haslam's interest in making this a loopy tale of larceny gets a shot from two actors who have cornered the market on weird roles. Crispin Glover's performance as the egotistical director Gabriel Anderson is rich in offbeat style and thick with the kind of perspective on the world that comes from someone who doesn't believe the world exists beyond their own needs and wants.
The only person who can play a character more bizarre than what Glover can offer is Parker Posey, who takes the role of Gina back and forth across the line between sanity and insanity. Parker's performances are always full blown madness and this is no exception.
Maggie Q manages to show an even more intense side than she has in recent movies but Stephen Fry's turn as a morally-bankrupt priest is never given enough time to show the best of what Fry can bring to the work.
Haslam hits plenty of right notes in the way he stages the movie, going from a conventional look for much of the movie but dusting it with highly-stylized sequences (especially any scenes in a car) that seem more fitting for a '50s film. This ramble through visual styles gives the movie a slightly timeless feel that works when trying to create the kind of look used in the caper comedies more than a half century ago.
All of that looks good on paper. But the part of the film that actually is presented in print � the script � is where "The Con Is On" becomes an arresting failure. It's as if Haslam and co-writer Alex Michaelides had a good idea for a film and a few reasonably interesting thoughts to use through the middle, but come up cold with the ending.
The problem with the ending is that the name of the production keeps getting in the way. This film has back-stabbing, robbery, gun play, dishonesty, fraud, excessive drinking and lying. But there is no real con to be found. Sure, there is a plan to steal the ring but it's nothing like the kind of complicated production used in movies like "Ocean's 11." When a movie promises a con, then the plot should reflect this through a complicated series of events, twists and misdirection that leaves the criminal act a mystery until the closing credits. The plan in "The Con Is On" could be written on the head of a pin with room left over for drink orders.
Because there is no smart manipulation of the script, Haslam has to fill the film with drawn-out sequences where the actors are doing more stalling for time than moving the story along. Eve is forced into one such sequence when she's drugged at a party. A few moments of her pretending to be feeling no pain is enough but Haslam sticks with it to the point of embarrassment.
It's a shame that Haslam brings together a very intriguing cast and at least tries to give the movie a different look, but in the end the story is as thin as a kindergarten student's work resume. The lack of con in "The Con Is On" is too much of a negative to ignore.
