UP cadre IAS officer Divya Mittal's social media post on parenting lessons is one of the most likable things over the internet in the last few days. Mittal has shared parenting tips which she says has learned from her mother.
Mother to two little daughters, IIT-IIM alumni, Mittal is currently District Magistrate, Sant Kabir Nagar.
In a series of thread, Mittal has shared several parenting lessons and has credited her mom and her own experience as a mother:
"My mother raised 3 kids- all 3 went to IIT, then IIM & doing well in their lives. Based on my own childhood and journey of raising 2 little daughters, some insights on parenting," the first of the series of tweets reads.
Read: How to talk to your kids about stranger danger
Tell them they can do anything: Mittal emphasizes on building self confidence in kids. Tell it so often that they start believing it. That belief will define their destiny, she says.
Let them fall: Life is not a bed of roses and nothing ever comes in life with a manual! "Let them jump and play and fall and get hurt. Don't jump in to pick them up. Only then will they learn to get up from a failure, dust themselves up and keep walking," tweets the IAS officer.
Compete: "Make them participate in competitions. They will not win every time. But they will become comfortable with failure. Fear of failure is a bigger hindrance in success than failure," she believes.
Let them take risks: She believes in making kids risk takers. "Monitor them but allow them to do things you feel can be somewhat risky," she tweets and adds that it can be like adventure sports, or climbing a tree. "You will see that when they know they can get hurt in the process, they behave responsibly," she adds.
Abundance mindset: Mittal’s message is in strong denial with the parental anecdotes where stories of poverty and penury are used as an important tool of parenting. “They have opportunities & resources that you never had. Let them use that as a jump board to go in the higher orbit. Don't impose your scarcity mindset on them,” she suggests.
Be a role model: All parents would be in total agreement with this point where she talks about setting an example and being a role model for the child. “Be yourself what you tell them to be. Nothing breaks a child's heart more than seeing the hypocrisy of their parents,” she says.
Shun bad behaviour: “You must scold them & correct them when they are doing something bad. They need to understand what the right behaviour is,” she tweets.
Trust them: This is a strong message for all parents who expect a lot from their kids and get disappointed when things don’t work as per their expectation. “Don't be disappointed in them. Always have hope. If you become disappointed in them, they will have no hope for themselves,” she tweets.
Give experiences: “Give them a variety of experiences to open their minds and hearts. Take them to orphanages, dance shows, travel, museums. Wherever you go, talk to them about things and their experience. Don't just be busy amongst yourselves,” she has said on the importance of giving wide exposure and rich experiences to kids.
Listen: This is a hard hitting message for those parents who assume their kids to be mere stupids. Kids’ minds are like blank canvas, but that does not make them stupid. They are inexperienced, but not simpletons. “Don't assume that they are stupid and don't know things. Don't be in a hurry to respond. Listen intently and then speak. Then you will reach them. You will never have a complaint that they don't listen,” says Mittal.
Don't compare: “Don't compare your child with anyone. Especially with their siblings. Being the favoured one will make them unprepared for harshness of the world, being the unfavoured one will make them needy and always seeking validation,” she says giving one last relevant lessons to parents.
