ACADEMY AWARDS
More than anyone, Billy Porter pushed the brief to be traffic-stoppingly original in a Christian Siriano velvet tuxedo ballgown.
Gemma Chan (Crazy Rich Asians) totally stole the show in a lollipop Maison Valentino confection with ruffled neck, ruching, tiers and pockets that was literally the pinnacle of casual luxe couture.
Apart from the black pumps, Linda Cardellini (Green Book) made a statement that screamed ‘The party is here, people’. From the bouffant hair to the Zsa Zsa Gabor boudoir style, her boldness gave her instant obsession status.
Lord knows we love Maya Rudolph but this is what happens when very cool people want to be even cooler by being deliberately daggy and end up looking like scary strange ladies who smell like old talcum powder.
Kacey Musgraves was one out of the box in a froufrou Giambattista Valli tulle gown which, depending on your thought processes, is either completely perfect or totally wrong. Terrifying hair and Stepford Wives stare.
Rachel Weisz was interesting. Childish headband (girly!) with rubber top (dominatrix!) and floral skirt (lady!) Beautiful in an unapproachable Snow White way.
Charlize Theron’s periwinkle Dior gown was elegant and high fashion, but with her stark new dark bob and serpent necklace she looked like she was auditioning to play a scheming widow in a 1940s melodrama.
Songwriter Diane Warren (showing for her 10th Oscar nomination) wore a Sergeant Peppers-inspired pantsuit with white boots. Her best accessory? The Ruth Bader Ginsburg figurine in her jacket pocket.
Jason Momoa (and wife Lisa Bonet were matchy match, he in a Karl Lagerfeld tux and she in an embellished Fendi Couture tea-length gown. Comedy and tragedy in one hit.
And nominated singers David Rawlings and Gillian Welch were in a league all of their own.
MET GALA
The theme was ‘Camp: Notes on Fashion’ But Kanye West looked like the only camp he was about was dropping a kid off at one. His wife Kim Kardashian-West, meanwhile, enticed retired Thierry Mugler to spend eight months designing a latex dress: “He envisioned me this California girl stepping out of the ocean, wet, dripping.” (West made Mugler remove the fake nipples he had on the dress.)
Cardi B’s Thom Browne dress worn with Stephen Jones headpiece was the biggest of the night but more pointless than camp.
Lady Gaga also came in hot, arriving in a pink Brandon Maxwell cape before changing three times and ending up in bra and knickers.
Jared Leto, vaguely Rasputinish in a Gucci suit with chain detail, brought along his own (fake) head for unexplained reasons.
Emily Ratajkowski looked like a really show-offy Lord of the Rings elf. Amazing but, seriously.
Jennifer Lopez was shameless in her posturing, thankfully. The spangled wig and sequinned Atelier Versace gown looked a touch ‘sea anemone out on the tear’, but full marks for effort.
Cara Delevingne was perfectly bonkers in candy-striped Dior with themed shoes, a cane and headpiece with fruit and eyeballs.
Kylie Jenner looked like she’d escaped from Liberace’s mansion with only the mesh on her back.
Just like there’s always one man who wears a jean to the beach, there’s always one star who wears a Disney princess dress, sometimes even ironically. Zendaya took on the role, in a light-up ballgown with pumpkin coach clutch.
Emmys
Gwendoline Christie rocked up to the Microsoft Theatre for the ceremony in a sweeping dress that looked like she’d raided the wardrobe department of a Roman Carry On film.
Jodie Comer killed it in a glamorous Tom Ford long-sleeved halterneck dress with a ’70s vibe.
Julia Garner’s electric violet dress rocketed her straight to a podium finish, with its beautiful sleeve and draping. Very, very cool.
Kendall Jenner told Richard Quinn to make her a hybrid of something Sofia Vergara and Catwoman would wear. Sister Kim asked for a Vivienne Westwood corset dress so tight she had to scowl all night.
Carice Van Houten was right up there, with undone hair, a red lip and statement print dress that was modestly seductive.
Amy Poehler’s Greta Constantine wide-legged jumpsuit was like something a down-on-their-luck Elvis impersonator would opt for.
GOLDEN GLOBES
Halle Berry has been playing the same card forever: Peekaboo panels, statement bit coming off her skirt, hair extensions. Next.
Bohemian Rhapsody’s Lucy Boynton had a podium finish for best dressed in metallic gold with great sleeves, perfect shoes and unfinished hair. Chic squared.
Rosamund Pike looked Photoshopped. Dramatic skirt and halterneck and the only cutouts to pass muster on a red carpet.
Catherine Zeta-Jones borrowed something from Melania Trump’s pre-White House wardrobe.
Nicole Kidman was vaguely reptilian in ox blood Michael Kors with semi-matronly heels. Cute bag.
Janelle Monae appeared to have come back from the Crusades via a Paris atelier. Literally nobody else could wear this.
SCREEN ACTORS’ GUILD AWARDS
Emily Blunt’s Michael Kors owed everything to its oversized ruffle detail and her innate queenliness. The frills created a social media stir courtesy of people with nothing better to do than see lady parts everywhere.
And for every occasion Diplo, here at the Billboard Music Awards but check his Insta for other looks:
What was your favourite moment?
