Unmissable show?
The Great British Bake Off. This year’s lot were a bit nice, you didn’t get so emotional. Last year there were some idiots, so you got angry and threw cakes and buns at the telly. You need a villain. Mary Berry has stepped up her bomber jackets, though. Did you see the stork one? I looked it up. It’s an M&S out-of-stock collection. You can’t get it anywhere. I’m heartbroken. I’d cut it off her back if I could.
Bring back…
The Anna Nicole Show. For Psychobitches they gave me Anna Nicole Smith and I was so underwhelmed. I thought, “Oh, it’s just some blonde bimbo.” Anyway, I did my research like a good girl and I watched her show, and it’s the most intricate, layered, confusing, tragic comedy I’ve ever seen. She just blew me away. I’m in love with her now. Absolutely heartbreaking tale.
TV turn-off?
Anything with celebrities doing stupid things, like Tumble. Ugh. Get off my screen now. No, actually don’t, because it’s fodder for me. I watch it with a very large glass of wine.
Pitch us a TV show…
Badly Dubbed Friends. We actually did it as an advert for Comedy Central. We took modern-day British stereotypes – I was Monica as a Made In Chelsea socialite. So I [adopts Sloane Ranger voice] “tawked sawt of like theese”. You could do it with most things. Breakfast At Tiffany’s, for example. Take any famous scene and dub it badly with some modern-day lingo and it’s suddenly ridiculous.
Mastermind specialist subject…
Horses! I know quite a lot about them. I’d give that posh bird, Clare Balding, a run for her money. How many yards are in a furlong? 220. Why does an Arab horse have one less rib? Because it’s got a high tail carriage. Stuff like that. I even know the first page of Black Beauty off by heart. I loved the “horses galloping” episode of House Of Fools, with the tandem horse for honeymoon-goers.
Psychobitches begins Tue, 9pm, Sky Arts 1
