Bush telegraph: The Razors proclaim their greatness in Primrose Hill. Photograph: John Moore
I've discovered the "Greatest Band Of All Time" - what a stroke of luck. Without wishing to come across like a certain fiery-headed Scotsman of my acquaintance who often makes similar proclamations on this site, I think the Razors just might have it.
I discovered their handmade flyer pinned to a tree as I made my way to Primrose Hill for a spot of sunbathing. It looked so perfect, so enthusiastic and so young, listing the names of the band members, the instrumentation, and the name of their single - with no information about how to acquire it.
Death to the Monkeys confused me at first: how could anybody so young want to kill Mickey Dolenz, Davy Jones et al? The Throbbing Gristle lightning flashes suggested they were an industrial-noise unit keen on simian experimentation - but then I remembered. Isn't there a band called Arctic Monkeys who are quite popular these days?
So the Razors must be very young indeed to regard Arctic Monkeys as music for the man, music to be mistrusted and destroyed. I loved the fact that they proclaim themselves the greatest band of all time. In the NME, this would read as a tiresome boast by the usual dim chancers who have read a bit of Bill Drummond, studied Oasis and hope that nobody will notice how bad they are. But pinned to a tree in Primrose Hill, it was delightful and - I would like to think - true.
Of course, I may well be the victim of some elaborately plotted PR scam, where the evilest marketing minds have come up with this flyer to flog us some corporate tat, but I think not. The Razors do not appear to have a MySpace - there are plenty of bands from America called Pissing Razors, Razors Edge and the like, but not Razors.
I remember seeing a picture of a teenage Iggy Pop, playing with the Asheton brothers in their garden, behind a white picket fence - a typical American idyll, until you noticed the size of the amplifiers they'd hauled into the garden to entertain the neighbourhood. I really hope that Razors are like this. Something about their flyer, its innocence and bravado appealed to me. For my sins, I love MmmBop by Hanson, and I'm hoping these little tykes will be a much heavier, nastier version.
For the record, I state: I do not know them, have no artistic, financial or any other connection with them. ...YET. In this age of beer, hair product and mobile-phone sponsorship, I detected something pure here that might be worth a look. Of course, if they live in Primrose Hill, they're probably the children of rock millionaires - but they still might be the greatest band of all time.
