The view that has inspired 1.5 million bad poets. Photo: Dan Chung.
I'm listening to the World at One on Radio 4. Government figures have just been released, stating that 1.5 million young people are idle - that is, not in work, not in education and not in training. Experts are expounding, politicians are biting and hot air is being blown. Before you begin to worry that I might be about to say something constructive, fear not. My concern is that these young people are classified as being between the ages of 16 and 25. That's a bit ageist, isn't it? What about the slightly older young people who are idle? Those in their very early 40s, perhaps?
Yes, here I am again, in the middle of the day, still caressed by dressing gown, wiping the sleep from my eyes, and chain-chewing Nicorettes. The sky is leaden, the trees skeletal and the TV aerials shake like ancient relatives. It's at times like this that the greatest danger exists for the creation of bad poetry, miserable songs and the kind of introspective tosh that, should one fall between the ages of 16 and 25, might be acceptable - but for the more grown-up among us, would be quite unforgivable.
For the benefit of young wordsmiths, staring from the windows of the nation: autumn leaves rhymes with trees, disease, sneeze and cheese; rain rhymes with window pane, most forms of physical pain, never again and embarrassing stain. But - I've tried all this - it doesn't sell. Go for a walk instead ... It'll clear your head ... And you won't wish you were dead.
Anyway, I shall endeavour to accomplish something of beauty and value by the end of the day - even if it's just unblocking my ear. Is it just me, or is there an epidemic? The sinus pain has abated, but the right lug is still blocked. Do you think Pete Doherty might lend me a syringe?
