When Rodney Trotter gets married in Only Fools and Horses it comes to light that his middle name is Charlton, setting up this brilliant set-piece:
Del: "Mum was a big fan."
Marlene: "Charlton Heston?"
Del: "No, Charlton Athletic."
HONK! The Mill is still guffawing 15 years after it was first screened.
But there's bad news for Mrs Trotter and all the other Addicks fans out there who have clicked on the Mill marked Rumour today. For while this edition of the Mill is full of Charlton tributes, there will sadly be no reference to Leroy Lita making his move to The Valley permanent or a potential new contract for Chris Iwelumo, and instead we will be doffing our caps to the man who brought us Ben-Hur, Planet of the Apes and guns, guns, guns!
Peter Crouch says he wants to leave Liverpool in the summer because it is "disheartening" not being as good as Fernando Torres (or maybe just not being in the team, we only skim read it). After scoring on Saturday, he said: "It's nice to remind people I'm still alive." If you mean agents then just say agents Peter, we won't think any less of you. It's a saga that has the potential to become a long drawn-out story of a man's quest for freedom, much like Charlton Heston's Ben-Hur (running time: 202 minutes!), a lovely tribute from Mr Crouch there.
Harry Redknapp is tipping his assistant Tony Adams to replace him at Portsmouth when he retires to enjoy life on the Dorset coast in a few years. "Martin Johnson has just got the England rugby job and is the nearest thing to Adams as a captain. I'd love Tony to be boss of this club one day," opined Harry, probably not to the BBC. A stiff-necked, wooden and highly decorated leader of men, it can't just be the Mill who has noticed that Tony Adams is football's Heston. A fitting tribute Mr Redknapp.
Reading are planning to offer Fulham £1m to scupper Rangers' plans to make loanee Steve Davis' move permanent. A rumour that can only be described as disappointing and forgettable, much like Heston's awkward cameo in Friends. Let's move on.
With Bolton heading for the Championship, Jussi Jaaskelainen is heading for the door marked exit. And fighting over him are the team that will never let a goalkeeper appear on the market without showing an interest, Aston Villa, and SPL also-rans Celtic. Of course, in this modern age and with Jaaskelainen at the end of his contract, the Finn has the freedom to leave Bolton and they can't do anything about it. Ah, the sweet smell of freedom, Charlton Heston would be proud.
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